The Holy Republic of North Bratislava is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Old Saxophone Joe with a fair hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, national health service, and zero percent divorce rate. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 11.772 billion North Bratislavans love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dinkytown. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The frighteningly efficient North Bratislavan economy, worth a remarkable 2,373 trillion pounds a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 201,617 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

At least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to Old Saxophone Joe's wardrobe, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned bisonball fields, and airplane passengers who purchase "basic economy" tickets are often assigned seats in the lavatory. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. North Bratislava's national animal is the bison, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bratislavan Orthodoxy.

North Bratislava is ranked 1,967^th in the world and 81^st in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 20,066.66 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.