The Republic of Old Emporia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Elizabeth with an even hand, and renowned for its parental licensing program, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working population of 5.113 billion Old Emporians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Social Policy, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Rapture. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 22.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Old Emporian economy, worth 644 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 126,082 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 8.3 times as much as the poorest.

The countryside is shrouded by wind farms, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles', party leaders rely on horoscopes to create "ticket balance", and stoned tourists don't tend to remember much about their holidays here. Crime is totally unknown. Old Emporia's national animal is the Crow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Old Emporia is ranked 31,716^th in the world and 1,672^nd in The North Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 4,704.12 on the Hickory Productivity Index.