The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by King Montebad II with an iron fist, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, complete lack of prisons, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.099 billion Onitonites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality, Environment, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Onitonic economy, worth an astonishing 12,004 trillion virtues a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is a breathtaking 543,228 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Shoppers have literally had their hands full since plastic bags were banned, the first sword of Merconitonitopia does not run, large sections of Merconitonitopia have been named national reserves to protect the native tribes living there, and government statistics suggest 115% of the population love King Montebad II. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is the Path of Oniton.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 18,465^th in the world and 572^nd in The North Pacific for Most Income Equality, scoring 80.65 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.