The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Montebad II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, avowedly heterosexual populace, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.865 billion Merconites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — is primarily concerned with Defense, with Environment, Spirituality, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Merconite economy, worth a remarkable 6,433 trillion virtues a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an amazing 432,818 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime suspects are forced to submit to blood testing, cutting-edge missile systems are being retrofitted to twin-prop air force biplanes, taking a walk on the wild side is punishable by death, and a small country is wondering where their capitol building's gold dome went. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Calvinism.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 229,463^rd in the world and 13,315^th in The North Pacific for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring -61.94 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.