The Ancient Holy Lands of Merconitonitopia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by the Protector of the Light with an iron fist, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, frequent executions, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.799 billion Merconites are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it prioritizes Defense, although Environment, Spirituality, and Industry are also considered important, while Administration and Education are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Drekk Kause Pyo. The average income tax rate is 99.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Merconian economy, worth a remarkable 2,299 trillion Denars a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an amazing 261,379 Denars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

The number of deaths due to poor fungus identification is mushrooming, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws, military instructors tire of being asked for another bedtime story by seven-year-old conscripts, and jaywalking is punishable by public flogging. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the sheep, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is the Spirits of the Holy Land.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 153,981^st in the world and 7,873^rd in The North Pacific for Safest, scoring 3.38 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.