The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by King Montebad II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, hatred of cheese, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.635 billion Onitonites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality, Environment, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Onitonic economy, worth an astonishing 10,330 trillion virtues a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is a breathtaking 526,123 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Newspapers print only headlines, terrified tympanists are finding themselves on the front lines armed only with kettledrums, groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol, and you gots to be part of the Party to get in to the party. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is the Path of Oniton.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 272^nd in the world and 45^th in The North Pacific for Most Influential, scoring 229,148 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.