The Free Land of Pytong is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Kamil Iwo with a fair hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.003 billion Pytongians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kamilowo. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Pytongian economy, worth a remarkable 1,139 trillion kapustas a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 189,795 kapustas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The Treasury Minister takes anxiety medication every time kids lose their sports kits, people faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations, there's no cure or sympathy for the common cold, and earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pytong's national animal is the python 𓆙, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pytongism.

Pytong is ranked 296,314^th in the world and 4,400^th in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 5.09 Obesity Rate.