The TNP's Favorite Adhesive of Tape is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by King Gernot Pat with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, ritual sacrifices, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 4.143 billion Tapeians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The relatively small, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Industry, with Healthcare and Administration also on the agenda, while Law & Order and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ventyceyaria. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Tapeian economy, worth 753 trillion Cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Arms Manufacturing, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 181,957 Cards, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 695,596 per year while the poor average 32,891, a ratio of 21.1 to 1.

Murder is sanctioned if the legal paperwork is filled out correctly, pedal-powered removal vans are a popular Maxxmas gift for the children of separated parents, recent events in Dàguó have been classified 'for King Gernot Pat's eyes only', and Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Tape's national animal is the Sticky Snake, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Nerdism.

Tape is ranked 59,483^rd in the world and 1,520^th in The North Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 4,006.98 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.