The United Provinces of Aeolist is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President Cooper Diesel with an even hand, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 11.636 billion Aeolistites enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Telic. The average income tax rate is 58.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Aeolistiti economy, worth a remarkable 2,227 trillion Mernas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 191,424 Mernas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized, pristine wilderness has been trashed in the quest for cheaper oil, high food prices have reduced the national diet to staple foods and water, and lumberjacks only use certified eco-friendly chainsaws. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Aeolist's national animal is the Aeolistite Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Aeolist is ranked 224,252^nd in the world and 8,510^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -466.01 on the Scary Big Number Scale.