The No Longer Here of Lotion Empire is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Lotion with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, digital currency, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 7.309 billion Yekteniyi are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Polunoscow. The average income tax rate is 98.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Yekteniyi economy, worth a remarkable 2,242 trillion Sodzhs a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 306,861 Sodzhs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Bailiffs must face down a fusillade of depleted uranium rounds, the nation is committed to nuclear rearmament, friendly fire incidents usually result in severe burns, and foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lotion Empire's national animal is the Brown Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Lotion Empire is ranked 135,446^th in the world and 4,946^th in The East Pacific for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 183.28 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.