by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 19thMost Subsidized Industry: 203rdMost Corrupt Governments: 596th
The No Longer Here of
Iron Fist Consumerists
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Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

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Lotion Empire

Population7.309 billion

FaithState Atheism

AnimalBrown Bear

The No Longer Here of Lotion Empire is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Lotion with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, digital currency, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 7.309 billion Yekteniyi are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Polunoscow. The average income tax rate is 98.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Yekteniyi economy, worth a remarkable 2,242 trillion Sodzhs a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 306,861 Sodzhs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Bailiffs must face down a fusillade of depleted uranium rounds, the nation is committed to nuclear rearmament, friendly fire incidents usually result in severe burns, and foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lotion Empire's national animal is the Brown Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Lotion Empire is ranked 135,446th in the world and 4,946th in The East Pacific for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 183.28 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 19thMost Subsidized Industry: 203rdMost Corrupt Governments: 596thMost Valuable International Artwork: 624thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 671stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 675thLargest Black Market: 791stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 979thMost Influential: 1,147thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,309thMost Efficient Economies: 1,499thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,656thLargest Governments: 1,757thMost Avoided: 1,889thHighest Average Incomes: 1,915thLargest Mining Sector: 2,130thTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 2,633rdRudest Citizens: 2,967thMost Advanced Public Transport: 6,329thNudest: 6,440thHighest Economic Output: 6,913thLowest Crime Rates: 7,532ndMost Secular: 7,588thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,427thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,072ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9,647thTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 15,324thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 16,398th
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Black Market: 15th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 17th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 18th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 20th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 21st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 25th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 31st in the regionMost Avoided: 32nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 36th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 36th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 39th in the regionLargest Governments: 43rd in the regionMost Influential: 44th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 45th in the regionRudest Citizens: 82nd in the regionTop
Highest Economic Output: 107th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 118th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 145th in the regionNudest: 197th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 219th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 227th in the regionMost Secular: 255th in the regionLargest Populations: 308th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 324th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 332nd in the regionTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 466th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 471st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 761st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 796th in the region

National Happenings

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