The Commonwealth of New Lakemba is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Committee with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 17.731 billion New Lakembans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Canberra. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient New Lakemban economy, worth a remarkable 5,826 trillion New Lakembian Standard Kebabs a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 328,614 New Lakembian Standard Kebabs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause, the horniness of the great-horned Animal Kingdom is considered a national priority, the government seizes private property for the 'good of the people', and children grow up long before the paperwork for their lemonade stands can be sorted out. Crime is totally unknown. New Lakemba's national animal is the Animal Kingdom, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

New Lakemba is ranked 310,832^nd in the world and 9,172^nd in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -1328.54 on the Scary Big Number Scale.