The Empire of The Windmilluminati is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Queen Juliana with a fair hand, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, smutty television, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 7.299 billion Windmilluminati hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hackney. The average income tax rate is 97.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Windmilluminati economy, worth a remarkable 1,442 trillion plums a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 197,698 plums, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Workers have their fruitcake and eat it too, Windmilluminati watches list strained wrists as a common side effect, psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Queen Juliana to meetings with foreign heads of state, and the law says it's okay to sell a bomb to a terrorist so long as they promise not to detonate it. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Windmilluminati's national animal is the giraffe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

The Windmilluminati is ranked 230,133^rd in the world and 8,865^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -1019.94 on the Scary Big Number Scale.