The Republic of Solmetria is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Alan with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 12.307 billion Solmetrians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Soliste. The average income tax rate is 85.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Solmetrian economy, worth a remarkable 1,413 trillion Sol coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 114,834 Sol coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Party-lovers often change religions just for the weekend, legislation sometimes has to battle through weeks of filibustering to pass, the official Solmetrian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child, and handling people's data is proving an immersive experience. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Solmetria's national animal is the Homo sapiens, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Solmetria is ranked 274,777^th in the world and 5,397^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -323.26 on the Scary Big Number Scale.