The Republic of Selfgradatude is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, suspicion of poets, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless, devout population of 13.824 billion Selfgradatudeans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Environment also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Administration receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Selfgradatude City. The average income tax rate is 71.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Selfgradatudean economy, worth 716 trillion dollars a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. Average income is 51,838 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat, airplane passengers who purchase "basic economy" tickets are often assigned seats in the lavatory, politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income, and mining safety laws are often more expensive than what's being mined. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Selfgradatude's national animal is the golden eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Selfgradatude is ranked 153,482^nd in the world and 8,038^th in The North Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -8.94 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.