The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Mansebat II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its state-planned economy, rampant corporate plagiarism, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 28.72 billion Onitonites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality, Environment, and Law & Order are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Onitonite economy, worth an astonishing 16,964 trillion virtues a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 590,692 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government invades its allies more than its enemies, behind every great person are three dozen other people passing great memos, decreased demand for toilets is saving the prison service a lot of money, and executions are marked by quiet dignity and maybe a final round or two of whist. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 288,276^th in the world and 4,332^nd in The North Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 13.98 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.