The People's Republic of Ohiyo is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Santa Claus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its soft-spoken computers, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful population of 2.692 billion Ohiyoans are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The large, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Canton. The average income tax rate is 97.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Ohiyoan economy, worth 494 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 183,511 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Angry citizens complain that there isn't enough geographical diversity on the new banknotes, forty-year-old men are asked for their ID before watching the latest pony cartoon movies, orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents, and surfing lessons include how to ward off sharks. Crime is totally unknown. Ohiyo's national animal is the bison, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Ohiyo is ranked 86,683^rd in the world and 4,091^st in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 2,379.43 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.