The United Protectorate of Tepertopia is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Gerhard von Selingen with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, smutty television, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 14.83 billion Tepertopians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, although Welfare, Healthcare, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Administration and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Happelstein. The average income tax rate is 3.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tepertopian economy, worth a remarkable 3,669 trillion Crowns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 247,420 Crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

"Darwin's Disease" is a growing cause of death, major boxing matches are held in government buildings, the average commuter spends four hours a day driving to and from work, and the word "sexagenarian" has taken on a whole new meaning. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Tepertopia's national animal is the Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cake Supremacy.

Tepertopia is ranked 1,265^th in the world and 31^st in the South Pacific for Longest Average Lifespans, with 95.42 years.