The United Kingdom of The Two Jerseys is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by HM King Louis with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, devout population of 21.949 billion Caesareans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Princeton. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Caesarean economy, worth a remarkable 3,277 trillion Caesarean Pounds a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 149,342 Caesarean Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Princeton Natural History Museum, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, and concerned environmentalists wipe away their tears with tissues sourced from Tasmanian old-growth redwoods. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Two Jerseys's national animal is the Crocodile, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

The Two Jerseys is ranked 13,674^th in the world and 428^th in the South Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 77.81 quips per hour.