The Republic of North Kanuckistan is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Van Ueff III with an even hand, and renowned for its public floggings, ubiquitous missile silos, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic population of 12.743 billion North Kanuckies have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beaverton. The average income tax rate is 92.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient North Kanuckistanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,353 trillion Kanucks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 106,216 Kanucks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Every week is blindness awareness week, sex offenders find themselves cut off from the ability to repeat their crimes, government ministers have eclectic tastes in curtains, and ambitious "businessmen" use their children to sell and advertise their products. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North Kanuckistan's national animal is the Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

North Kanuckistan is ranked 12,356^th in the world and 386^th in the South Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 82.29 quips per hour.