The United Protectorate of Tepertopia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Gerhard von Selingen with a fair hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, public floggings, and otherworldly petting zoo. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 3.253 billion Tepertopians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, with Education, Healthcare, and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Happelstein. The average income tax rate is 42.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tepertopian economy, worth 415 trillion Silkes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 127,670 Silkes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Local mafias have a tough time disposing of dead snitches without catching the attention of recycling authorities, seven-year-olds debate for weeks on the merits of the Oxford comma, the weather in Happelstein is always 'pigeons with a chance of droppings', and drivers regularly pull over for nonexistent police cars. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tepertopia's national animal is the housecat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Amerionism.

Tepertopia is ranked 217,326^th in the world and 7,281^st in the South Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -316.78 on the Scary Big Number Scale.