The Italo-Albanian Republic of Inner Albania is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Robert Hoxha with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, cheerful population of 2.489 billion Inner Albanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Tirana. The average income tax rate is 87.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Inner Albanian economy, worth 296 trillion leks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 118,961 leks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People find it hard to relate to soldiers because of the dehumanising masks they wear, any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property, hostage-takers offer loyalty scheme points for prompt payment, and prisoners work-share to cut down rising costs of keeping them in jail. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Inner Albania's national animal is the white-tailed eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Inner Albania is ranked 6,702^nd in the world and 379^th in The North Pacific for Healthiest Citizens, with 18.41 bananas ingested per day.