The Big Mac Republic of Inner Albania is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Robert Hoxha with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, national health service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 2.97 billion Inner Albanians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Tirana. The average income tax rate is 89.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Inner Albanian economy, worth 385 trillion leks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 129,710 leks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Arthritic surgeons with tremulous fingers reassure patients that they are in safe hands, foreign policy is mostly just to smile and hope for the best, hand-to-hand combat experience is udderly essential for all dairy ranchers, and only 'organics' are permitted to be citizens. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Inner Albania's national animal is the white-tailed eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Inner Albania is ranked 15,713^th in the world and 721^st in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 91.27 law-abiding acts per hour.