The Crazy Old Man of Rebel-topia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Jason Dowling with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 18.648 billion Rebel-topians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Warner. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Rebel-topian economy, worth a remarkable 2,461 trillion Deutschy-Markies a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 132,004 Deutschy-Markies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Big Brother is still watching even when your big brother is dead, rebuilding efforts for a recently destroyed cathedral aren't expected to be completed for another century, almost all products in Rebel-topia are hand-crafted due to strict employment laws, and the government's giant servers are often used as a tourist trap. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Rebel-topia's national animal is the Cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Yay For Cake.

Rebel-topia is ranked 196,851^st in the world and 6,483^rd in the South Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -151.3 on the Scary Big Number Scale.