The Commonwealth of United States of Vietnam is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Đặng Văn Nông with a fair hand, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, ubiquitous missile silos, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 18.399 billion Vietnamese hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Administration, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hanoi. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Vietnamese economy, worth a remarkable 7,579 trillion Vietnam Dong a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 411,932 Vietnam Dong, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay, the government has declared that sharing is uncaring, the phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon, and most believe 'tis better to give than to receive. Crime is totally unknown. United States of Vietnam's national animal is the Water Buffalo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

United States of Vietnam is ranked 315,768^th in the world and 5,192^nd in the South Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -1351.62 on the Scary Big Number Scale.