by Max Barry

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Most Armed: 656thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 884thFattest Citizens: 964th
The Armed Republic of
Father Knows Best State
We can kill it, even if it doesn't bleed.
Civil Rights
Below Average
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population2.428 billion

LeaderLexi Zaelin


The Armed Republic of Zaelith is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Lexi Zaelin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, public floggings, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.428 billion Zaelithians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zael. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Zaelithian economy, worth 495 trillion Zils a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Information Technology, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 204,217 Zils, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,368,955 per year while the poor average 11,447, a ratio of 119 to 1.

Bitter pastors forced to officiate gay marriage 'accidentally' pronounce couples "husband and abomination", travelers often bring empty plastic bottles on Air Zaelith flights to avoid the pay lavatories, computer users are buried daily in thousands of unsolicited emails, and the new foreign policy is "why bother invading neighbours when they can be bought wholesale?". Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Zaelith's national animal is the Roadkill, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Zaelith is ranked 207,785th in the world and 8,396th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 4.3 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

Most Armed: 656thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 884thFattest Citizens: 964thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,009thHighest Crime Rates: 1,039thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1,223rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,330thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,378thMost Avoided: 1,447thMost Influential: 1,471stLargest Retail Industry: 1,541stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,608thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,766thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,077thTop
Most Corrupt Governments: 2,723rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,400thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 3,469thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,594thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,670thMost Valuable International Artwork: 4,069thRudest Citizens: 4,887thMost Efficient Economies: 5,356thNudest: 5,414thHighest Average Incomes: 5,959thLargest Mining Sector: 7,095thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7,227thMost Scientifically Advanced: 7,490thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 9,698thMost Rebellious Youth: 10,419thTop
Largest Black Market: 10,506thLargest Information Technology Sector: 11,842ndMost Subsidized Industry: 11,956thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 15,003rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 15,033rdMost Secular: 18,159th
Most Armed: 21st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 24th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 25th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 26th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 30th in the regionMost Avoided: 31st in the regionFattest Citizens: 31st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 35th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 42nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 42nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 45th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 52nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 55th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 66th in the regionTop
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 85th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 93rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 105th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 133rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 145th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 146th in the regionRudest Citizens: 152nd in the regionMost Influential: 154th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 165th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 184th in the regionNudest: 191st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 198th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 199th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 216th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 259th in the regionLargest Black Market: 285th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 363rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 364th in the regionTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 518th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 547th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 556th in the regionMost Secular: 638th in the regionMost Stationary: 766th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 816th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 166 » Pencil Sharpeners 2, Wehraboos, Aumeltopia, Erinor, Beepee, Tsunamy, Barabarom, 073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121, Saciu, Volaworand, Aidenfieeld, Dasko, Qvait, The Filippinas, Land Without Shrimp, Jehenna, Direwolf1, Hanguk-Nippon, The Solar System Scope, Outer Utonixick Gollinican, Curlyhoward, Lambdaland, The Two Jerseys, Yellunstryer, Seliyan progressive Islands, Bear Connors Paradiso, Kiasu-ism, Pamela And Hepatitis, Pax Dracon, Darakin, Si-topia, Nowa Europa, Aurcania, Unidum, Farengeto, Nankyoku Tairiku, Tsvetania, Luddinlande, Havenfell, Los Lonley Boys, Ancient Slobovia, Escevola, Vincent Field, Rebel-topia, Abarri, Rabbitz, St Oaks, Viertes deutsches Koalitionsreich, Jennaterra, Blaash, and 116 others.USNE2018, Oreo States, Imperial Duck, New Briantown, Antarctic Empires, Wese Zippopiteradgil, Avalonica, Sedunn, Amerion, Mapico, Japanese Federal Republic, Empa Aserium, Nova Montron, Sthalrim, Fighting Kawi Ninja, The Tecorogan Federation, Astraee, Salguod, Free Rad, Native Inhabitants of Antarctica, Qawe, Tilipria, North Kanuckistan, Jaxon, Yeldarbsland, Madreia, Realms of Madness, The naked people, Cohors Stercore, Nueva Alta California, Bleakfoot, North Delaware, PenguinPies, Isles of Creckero, Bawkie, Terran Draconia, Ockhamista, Techganet, Tepertopia, Hutington, Tarnik, Tioloman, Rly8h, Kasharsa, Gliasco, Ebonhand, Kringalia, West Pastafaria, Anserisa, Roterdamia, Humedo, Phanama, Turks of The Eastern Calculus, Kandorith, Eskvenn, CzechoSlovakishMoravia, Charloa, Grubville, Ralphburg, The Worst army of, Virmena, Linguiniland, Moonshining, ChickenDome, Melicorium, Tridem, Holy Free, Quh, Kervanosia, Elan Sleazebaganno, Eggraria, Merevane, Baltenlands, Compli, Marinho Islands, Dis7Nation, Shefino, Andinla, Starsight, Steampunk Engineers, HUElavia, Poopisiya, Gonrati, Vega Naothia, Nova Kobol, Auphelia, NganXuan, Laamiva, Matak Tribes, The Radanivans, Corgitopiaa, Great Britain And Empire, Great Elsika, Well F, Rhetiaa, The Drakan Republic, Purple Hyacinth, United States of Vietnam, Royaltica, Sandaoguo, Briteannia, Myness, International House of Pancakes, Ovkianos, Drugged Monkeys, Xarbraden, Kedjens, Temaseka, Avia Lavanda, Efferalt, Midand, Concrete Slab, Settlements of the North American Lands, East Lodge, West Fallows, and Catillos.

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