The Autocratic States of Ammmericaaaa is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Bonzu Pippinpaddleopsicopolis the third with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, zero percent divorce rate, and compulsory military service. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.398 billion Americans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ammatica. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 21.2%.

The Ammmericaaaan economy, worth 157 trillion pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 65,808 pounds, with the richest citizens earning 8.2 times as much as the poorest.

Government reports are now used to teach toddlers to read, taking hostages is a great way to influence government policy, washing-up liquid looks and smells like baby poo, and government police forces protect public schools from the threat of protest. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Ammmericaaaa's national animal is the thestrals, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Religionism.

Ammmericaaaa is ranked 97,513^th in the world and 2,114^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 66.17 law-abiding acts per hour.