The Emo Queen Protector of PenguinPies is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Queen Princess Lady of TSP with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, rampant corporate plagiarism, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.601 billion PenguinPiesians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defense, Environment, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of PenguinPies City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 92.6%.

The strong PenguinPiesian economy, worth a remarkable 1,136 trillion Oreos a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 90,194 Oreos, with the richest citizens earning 9.3 times as much as the poorest.

Lobster tastes best when it is red, citizens are told that foreigners are hungry ghosts who eat the flesh of the overly curious, the wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned, and vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PenguinPies's national animal is the Hippo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is PIE.

PenguinPies is ranked 166,424^th in the world and 7,211^th in the South Pacific for Largest Agricultural Sector, scoring -12.79 on the Mu-Bah-Daggs Productivity Index.