The Vizier of Asendavia is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Hjalmar XVIII with an iron fist, and notable for its enslaved workforce, avowedly heterosexual populace, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.069 billion Asendavians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Strömhärad. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Asendavian economy, worth a remarkable 5,925 trillion Jade Nudoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 268,486 Jade Nudoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

The dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu, few that venture into government archives are ever seen again, high-tech infantry rifles automatically reload when the soldier shoots outside the screen of their helmet HUD, and ghost regiments exist only on paper. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Asendavia's national animal is the Gyoruna, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Ademarism.

Asendavia is ranked 7,949^th in the world and 179^th in The East Pacific for Rudest Citizens, with 130.1 insults per minute.