by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 28thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 116thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 173rd
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Influence
Apprentice
Provost | Vizier
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population23.804 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart
Faithforgotten

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, prohibition of alcohol, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 23.804 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Environment also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Education are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,203 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 344,620 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 212,406th in the world and 8,512th in The East Pacific for Nudest, with 9.25 Cheeks Per Square Mile.

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 28thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 116thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 173rdLargest Insurance Industry: 216thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 248thHighest Disposable Incomes: 414thLargest Agricultural Sector: 598thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 607thHighest Economic Output: 667thMost Corrupt Governments: 757thMost Influential: 773rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 800thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,060thHighest Average Incomes: 1,255thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,266thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,366thTop
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Lowest Crime Rates: 2,237thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,381stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,422ndLargest Black Market: 2,749thLargest Mining Sector: 2,850thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,172ndMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,262ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,418thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,549thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,766thLargest Populations: 4,239thBest Weather: 5,646thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,177thFattest Citizens: 6,641stLargest Governments: 6,751stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,280thMost Secular: 8,643rdTop
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Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,968thMost Efficient Economies: 16,137thLongest Average Lifespans: 18,751stMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,523rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,836th
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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 9th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 11th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 13th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 14th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 20th in the regionMost Influential: 25th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 25th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 28th in the regionLargest Populations: 34th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 36th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 43rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 48th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 51st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 56th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 56th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 62nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 69th in the regionTop
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Highest Poor Incomes: 98th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 115th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 136th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 136th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 153rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 159th in the regionLargest Governments: 173rd in the regionBest Weather: 183rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 222nd in the regionMost Secular: 313th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 388th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 429th in the regionTop
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Highest Drug Use: 520th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 554th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 587th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 618th in the regionRudest Citizens: 658th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 780th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 840th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 890th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 437 » Brotherland, Evrigenis, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, La xinga, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Tuvaltastan, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Morrowine, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, Servants of Gizmo, Endertopias, Freedomindia, Dragonia, North Insomnia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, H-Zhena, Eagas, The United Neo American Union, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Nifalembria Zamingstan, Blobbo, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, Libertanny, HinduRashtr, Slonful, Bharatewa, and 387 others.Merlovich, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Wiranath, Talitoa, Aussiestan, Tretrid, Asendavia, Staynes, Distro-Spartica, Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, Raunch, Bachtendekuppen, The American Free States, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, Goral, Belora Gyles, The Three States of Fortuna, Khadah, Yossito II, Rage Mage, Vaskeden, Meagharia, Mays Austrian Nation, The Earth Systems Alliance, Rohanland, Roissyland, Under Sea Desert, BuciLand, Halaethaed Commune, West Nagato, Konouj, Liberstankonia, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Forro Islands, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Ribanzi, Mercadir, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Osterreich und Ungarn, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Shavara, Wapl, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, New Amerindia, Korktopia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Hexyia, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, Zanottilandia, The Almighty Country, Pureian, Luisagna, Republic of Berzerkistan, Alderaciea, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Dratava, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Kotawia, Federal Republic of Hetacia, West Akhzaristan, Lyontisia, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Dracacre, Forgottan, Drunken Seal Islands, St Guilders Gate, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, Cameronia Excellentia, New South Hope, Wizardonia, The Eternal Land of Jong, The Empire of Rijelv, The Solar Ottomans, Dark Edgyness, Kavel, Upper Ellisse, United Dirtpile, New Ailartsua, Harro Waarudho, The Argos Federation, Sen Jast, Bysios, Adavan, New Mainz, Nossepachina, Lilisk, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Memeenstien, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, Am Echad, Jyzeria, Duracell, Federated States of Zootron, Calbee, Broengtopia, Propwash, Rhealaliit, Adolanta, Kirmora, Bynzich, Slongs, Deertia, The New Tace, Packilvania, Chubaka, Raneve Brusertheatel, Icelandic Imperium, Gemmena, German South-East Africa, Sengsara, Bakaworld, Sansangra, The Militarius Imperium, Dreamersistan, Kyrtizhan, Trulu, Biggstonia, Enou, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Khvetsch, CopyCato, Merkez, Martonica, Jamitri, Kadjaria, Hentaigoku, San Castillo, Gemlon, Quebec-and-Maritimes, Kristanya, Urimel, Ayaupia, Citergue, Holy Alasia Orozen, Solis Ortis, Centrical Union, Lantros, Neue Leipzig, Kucia, JohorRiau, Riveraland, Syriusz, Free sovereign Soviet socialist republic, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Noreds Thereneuthene, New Terabithia, Soul Stream, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Kelsyth, EnderShnovia, Galve, Chriona, Werglum, God in the world, Bytes, Socialist Holy American Empire, Survivoristan, Joundia, Guinea Meridional, Leedur-laand, BTProductions, Kingdom of Palau and other Constituents, Dominostra, Lipibo, The New Wisconsin Empire, Qampele, Anarchistani Anarchists, Deepcastle, Konneticut, Castle Federation, Tefror, Lemaoyeet, Gorbastan, Capave, Pledonia, Schrebia, Polenishia, Kianhua, Vannah, Gallisers, New Liberitad, Emerial, Dannemarie, Gyp Land, Federation of Knights, Tholder Etehal, Felsinki, Fauxevre, BattleCats, Savorca, The Cult of the Great Cthulhu, Halan Republic, Techny, Sedequia, Hizuru, British Calradia, New Maiya, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Teocallintzin, Islandian Free States, Kalis Harem, Gormhuth, Hadrian5, Greater Frost, The Green Blade, Amerminetos, Aihon, Sunsistan, LIGHT-STARS, Condo of Grick, The North American Republics, Zulkig, Eastern Hyront Scassen, Rhothstan, Rainbow Vests, Innovan, Conikslan, Harmonic Yeetlandia, Grindoligarch, Impaxia, Manutina, Conqerica, Pokoreniye, Wynberg, East Peatteo, Warren democracy, Pekweng, Isanastivia, Ornstein the Dragonslayer, Yuritoria, Quinto Piano, Djomb, Komiker Mawrysharken, Mundiferrum, Durbur, Imprisoned Freeman, Minshu Shugi, Generousity, Samaltak True, Canthuria, Amihan, Greater Emco Uns, Tri Lita, ArenaC, Kosmanza, Alabastian Royal Provinces, CANZUK 1, Technocratic Tagalog, Stellar Colonies, Modra, Hertogenbosch, Layngderfleethe, Grey Haven of Tauraucania, Debluu, Raiu East, United Order Republic, Ephem, Eternal Progress, Dorles, Soirwren, The Rapubbaland, Teskyla, Monezambique, Flesh and the Power It Holds, Carolina Bay, Yelkinam, Empire of Dabiristan, Serfvarden, Ankras, Davedukili, The Islamic Republic of Africa, Greats Unified States, Oofery, CheeseBurrito, Wallenburg, Reschaters, Khiralia, Dravida India, Washingtonian Order, Fahrul, Caltharus, Strudelia, Kanria, Urasimu wa Kati, Monix, Empire of Sock, Kavanos, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Alttaea, Horn of Havenkaap, Pyrchnia, Chols Worithopia, Vanzeria, Imperial Phoenix Terra, Neverwinteer, Chrootangtonia, Alaskagrad, Nu Oceana, Oerkar, Neptunian Military Administration, Nevertopia, Platypus Islands, Kriov, New American Democracy, Norgsveldet, Karatol-Advenra, Canakasa, Islan North, Molaro, Strelizia, Serkin, Lebarestan, Concentus, Free Nal Graakuo, Volinovia, Niveko, Brethren, Nyanhai, Amabilis, Books Check Em Out, ParaSymmetry, Daenyearly, Axlor, Abadong, Astatian Shores, Lumpiadinavia, Geraet, Shragg, Gunov, Drac Romon, Sarfu, Hiflex, Venelaand, Altys, Amelia Island, The An Dynasty, Transoxiana-Tartaria, Nord Hel, Capitalist Golborne, Moro Galatic Empire, Eastern Alksearia, Acronis, Eldridge Crossings, The Greater German Reich II, Tissandra, Araise, and The South Hollow.

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