by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 38thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 113thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 116th
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Influence
Apprentice
Commissioner of EPPS | Vizier
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population24.738 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart
Faithforgotten

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, prohibition of alcohol, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 24.738 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,505 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 343,820 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 25,217th in the world and 752nd in The East Pacific for Most Valuable International Artwork, with 7.4 Bank.

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 38thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 113thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 116thLargest Insurance Industry: 217thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 241stMost Influential: 299thHighest Disposable Incomes: 428thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 589thLargest Agricultural Sector: 650thHighest Economic Output: 689thMost Corrupt Governments: 816thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 850thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,126thHighest Average Incomes: 1,313thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,365thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,499thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,638thLowest Crime Rates: 2,235thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,389thTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,601stLargest Black Market: 2,887thLargest Mining Sector: 3,178thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,496thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,621stMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,960thLargest Populations: 4,183rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,343rdBest Weather: 5,584thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,734thLargest Governments: 6,929thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,131stFattest Citizens: 7,208thMost Secular: 8,972ndTop
10%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,498thLongest Average Lifespans: 16,161stMost Efficient Economies: 16,967thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,719thLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,894th
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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionMost Influential: 8th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 11th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 13th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 14th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 20th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 32nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 32nd in the regionLargest Populations: 33rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 43rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 44th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 50th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 57th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 63rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 70th in the regionLargest Black Market: 74th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 83rd in the regionTop
5%
Most Beautiful Environments: 118th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 122nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 155th in the regionBest Weather: 174th in the regionLargest Governments: 182nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 189th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 190th in the regionFattest Citizens: 193rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 220th in the regionMost Secular: 304th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 394th in the regionTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 496th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 504th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 506th in the regionRudest Citizens: 536th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 574th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 635th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 752nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 850th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 533 » Brotherland, Evrigenis, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, La xinga, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, Servants of Gizmo, Freedomindia, Dragonia, North Insomnia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, H-Zhena, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Nifalembria Zamingstan, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, HinduRashtr, Slonful, Bharatewa, Merlovich, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Wiranath, Talitoa, Aussiestan, Tretrid, and 483 others.Staynes, Distro-Spartica, Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, The Three States of Fortuna, Khadah, Meagharia, Mays Austrian Nation, Roissyland, BuciLand, Halaethaed Commune, West Nagato, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Forro Islands, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Ribanzi, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Wapl, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, New Amerindia, Korktopia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Hexyia, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, The Almighty Country, Luisagna, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Dratava, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Lyontisia, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Drunken Seal Islands, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, Cameronia Excellentia, Wizardonia, The Eternal Land of Jong, The Empire of Rijelv, The Solar Ottomans, Upper Ellisse, New Ailartsua, Harro Waarudho, Sen Jast, Adavan, New Mainz, Nossepachina, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, Am Echad, Duracell, Federated States of Zootron, Broengtopia, Propwash, Rhealaliit, Kirmora, Slongs, The New Tace, Packilvania, Raneve Brusertheatel, Icelandic Imperium, Gemmena, German South-East Africa, Sengsara, Bakaworld, Sansangra, The Militarius Imperium, Dreamersistan, Kyrtizhan, Trulu, Biggstonia, Enou, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Khvetsch, CopyCato, Merkez, Jamitri, Gemlon, Kristanya, Holy Alasia Orozen, Centrical Union, Lantros, Kucia, Riveraland, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Noreds Thereneuthene, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Kelsyth, EnderShnovia, Werglum, Bytes, Socialist Holy American Empire, Survivoristan, Joundia, Konneticut, Lemaoyeet, Schrebia, Kianhua, Vannah, New Liberitad, Dannemarie, Federation of Knights, Techny, Hizuru, British Calradia, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Teocallintzin, Islandian Free States, Greater Frost, The Green Blade, Amerminetos, Aihon, Sunsistan, LIGHT-STARS, Zulkig, Eastern Hyront Scassen, Rhothstan, Rainbow Vests, Harmonic Yeetlandia, Impaxia, Manutina, Conqerica, Pokoreniye, East Peatteo, Pekweng, Ornstein the Dragonslayer, Yuritoria, Komiker Mawrysharken, Mundiferrum, Imprisoned Freeman, Generousity, Samaltak True, Canthuria, Greater Emco Uns, Tri Lita, ArenaC, CANZUK 1, Stellar Colonies, Layngderfleethe, Debluu, United Order Republic, Ephem, Dorles, Soirwren, The Rapubbaland, Monezambique, Yelkinam, Empire of Dabiristan, Serfvarden, Ankras, CheeseBurrito, Wallenburg, Dravida India, Washingtonian Order, Strudelia, Kanria, Monix, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Alttaea, Horn of Havenkaap, Chols Worithopia, Imperial Phoenix Terra, Neptunian Military Administration, Kriov, New American Democracy, Norgsveldet, Serkin, Lebarestan, Concentus, Free Nal Graakuo, Volinovia, Niveko, Nyanhai, Amabilis, Daenyearly, Gunov, Transoxiana-Tartaria, Wakeopolis, Republoslavia, Cyrillic Peoples, Forktoon, Hitaria, Norna Chitya, United States of Masbate, Kylezkstan, Pantheropolis, Cacnesia, Coruh, Darkfull, Oofery, Tissandra, Modra, New Bobby, Karatol-Advenra, Tawuse, Kunstistan, Eraelia, Markhor, Piznjir, Wolemoer, Bundes Republic Deutschland, Bergimoret, New Cobastheia, From New World, Albrook, Capave, United States of Calipon, Schelemeketew, Yharkal Bhanek, Granskau, Pizza devil cat, Chalan, Rakshuland, Order of the saint Dumas, Neldas, Farangia, Freedom Fascists, Azeel, Fontesia, Mecsherstein, Bialonia, Tennabroch, Kalaratri, Llan Ava, An Unknown End, Universalius, The Armed Savages, West memes, Harper Isle, Bjournson, United States Of Krauka, Republic of New India, Faid, Moewland, The planet nation, Arunika, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ulvesogullr, Kinez, Cellar Doors, Roma IV, Ad Honorem Dei, Acronis, Kamasital, Aklevin, ParaSymmetry, Anarchica landia, Nevertopia, Beausylvana, The White Anderlandic Coast, Fradrildrun, The Great Andes, Lanwa, Western Pakistan, Pagodia, Greater Theowherveld, Danelaw Scandinavia, Kingdom of East Russia, South Azerbijan, Gurtistania, Xylapan, Missala, The Cap Country, Liberal European Republic, West Swedania, Jonathan Schmidt, Busto arsizio2, Kennardia, Clarence-Voslage, EHTYCSCYTHE, Zeiberland, Rabarbarys, Vas Andsommy, Vogar, Jamiou, Ze Noobalingas, Sjenica, Harpiatopia, Sundowning, Sweet Everythings, The Former Baltic States, Kilkire, Hellod Immury, Crucifer, Constervatania, Insolandie, Boooshi, New Terabithia, Blobbo, Asendavia, Crestillia, Kaldrbuth, JosheNation, Middle Pitburn, The Bedford Initiative, Sudarshan, Taapi, Juliania Secundus, Aoba-Johsai, Solis Ortis, Arasakami, Kihara, The Anarchisticly Lost Canadian North, Aeoliah, Rocie, Later Goryeo, Beemunism, Kylah, Auranoria, THE V0ID, Esoteric Ferrets, Lakku, Mayapada, Falthonia, Straight Union, Cheriana, North Diora, Devlon, United Socialist States of Amerika, Legendianel, Communist Angmar, Bakesville, Tomscape, Lorrana, Imperial Plumbus, Endertopias, Loreintor, Pledonia, Technocratic Tagalog, Insi Karai, North Bernia, Adolanta, Nordic Eurasia, Tofoon, Kyalgray, Abacas, Cryria, United Arab Islamic, Cisdaniria, Progravistan, Isahaak, Federation Of Columbian Republics, Eisenhund, THE Ophelia OF SYA, Muricia, Zukish, Saarsilili, Plaines, Darni people, Hel Rock, Kasai del Sur, BetterJillTown, Free sovereign Soviet socialist republic, Caterzan, LibRight Libertarianism, Anfair, Mid-Land, Zidium, Bekhaulochin, Kurkmenistan, Eastern Alksearia, Avartaka, Spadaus, Meerkat Land, Arkantis, Valexan, Wolframberg, New Brittannion-Rome, Soriacos, Capitalist Golborne, Shava Pythe, Fire Field Autonomous Region, Fuflix workers union, Los Juan, Artzozka, Kitev, Dahom, Developing World, Under Upper Antartica, Saladass, Alpex, The Oan Isles, Laskaltine, Skerczak, Severuslavia, Abadong, Eldi, Ultravisionary Soviets, Great Algerstonia, Sancta Pannonia, Slavakania186, Martian States of America, Hogwarts of muggles, Sweaburg, Cakitalim, OgJoker, Jove Mahmo, Bradion, Hobbesistan, North-Iberia, Macaco Forte, Arcarum, Akorial, Sapre, Isildor, United Getzland, Kolaporsk, Can Badia, Virgolia, ATLXNTQ, American-Cascadia, Pernoss, Spicy-A Meatball, Theistaria, Vessarlian, Argentianworkslasia, Yaceistan, Johor DT, Oeconomicae, Retreat, Shavara, Obridles, Zwen, Islamic Jewish LGBT Esoteric Communism, Cvetopia, Pacifist Cowards, Espeon LD, Endoxemel, Namaste Isle, Chriona, Carates, The Kulaata Islands, East Scavenduky, Quebec-and-Maritimes, Blobon, Malabasy, Zenettia, Kohndalkia, Nirsk, Greyr, Biingus, Vorztovia, and United Biomes.

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