by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 29th Largest Cheese Export Sector: 61st Largest Insurance Industry: 240th
The Kingslayer of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Influence
Powerbroker
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population20.985 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart
Faithforgotten

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Kingslayer of A mean old man is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, absence of drug laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 20.985 billion Floridians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Social Policy and Education aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 7,323 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 348,973 colostomy bags, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,257,431 per year while the poor average 69,254, a ratio of 18.2 to 1.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 7,446th in the world and 1st in Lytic for Most Secular, with 95.54 Atheism Rate.

Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 29thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 61stLargest Insurance Industry: 240thLargest Agricultural Sector: 250thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 276thHighest Disposable Incomes: 358thMost Corrupt Governments: 580thHighest Economic Output: 648thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 672ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 682ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 789thHighest Average Incomes: 914thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 957thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 968thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,276thMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,691stTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,871stLargest Black Market: 2,093rdLowest Crime Rates: 2,152ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,416thLargest Mining Sector: 2,497thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,077thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,123rdLargest Populations: 4,556thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,140thLargest Governments: 6,803rdFattest Citizens: 7,211thBest Weather: 7,285thMost Secular: 7,446thTop
10%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 8,813thHighest Drug Use: 13,253rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,744thMost Efficient Economies: 14,107thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 16,356th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : A mean old man's influence in Lytic rose from "Eminence Grise" to "Powerbroker".
  • : A mean old man was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Popular Tourist Destinations.
  • : A mean old man was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Ignorant Citizens.
  • : A mean old man was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector.
  • : A mean old man's influence in Lytic rose from "Enforcer" to "Eminence Grise".
  • : A mean old man's influence in Lytic rose from "Dealmaker" to "Enforcer".
  • : A mean old man was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Ignorant Citizens.
  • : A mean old man's influence in Lytic rose from "Instigator" to "Dealmaker".
  • : A mean old man's influence in Lytic rose from "Contender" to "Instigator".
  • : A mean old man was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Ignorant Citizens.

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