by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 36thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 118thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 137th
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Civil Rights
Below Average
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population25.453 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, compulsory military service, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 25.453 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,733 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 343,112 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 206th in the world and 6th in The East Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 20,486.46 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 36thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 118thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 137thLargest Insurance Industry: 206thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 243rdMost Influential: 341stHighest Disposable Incomes: 450thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 580thHighest Economic Output: 683rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 721stLowest Overall Tax Burden: 849thMost Corrupt Governments: 858thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,168thHighest Average Incomes: 1,402ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,475thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,563rdHighest Poor Incomes: 1,621stMost Patriotic: 2,174thTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 2,284thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,408thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,751stLargest Black Market: 3,190thLargest Mining Sector: 3,228thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,475thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,709thLargest Populations: 4,161stMost Ignorant Citizens: 4,513thBest Weather: 5,365thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,709thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,719thFattest Citizens: 6,977thLargest Governments: 7,008thMost Secular: 8,853rdTop
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 11,385thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,541stLongest Average Lifespans: 15,933rdMost Efficient Economies: 16,910thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,491stLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,814thHighest Drug Use: 21,356th
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionMost Influential: 7th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 8th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 9th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 10th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 14th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 18th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 20th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 30th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 33rd in the regionLargest Populations: 33rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 41st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 47th in the regionMost Patriotic: 55th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 56th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 64th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 66th in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 75th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 87th in the regionLargest Black Market: 99th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 115th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 154th in the regionBest Weather: 168th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 170th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 173rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 183rd in the regionLargest Governments: 196th in the regionFattest Citizens: 202nd in the regionMost Secular: 315th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 340th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 368th in the regionTop
Highest Drug Use: 383rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 440th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 497th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 505th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 569th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 624th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 493 » Brotherland, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, Servants of Gizmo, Freedomindia, Dragonia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, H-Zhena, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, Slonful, Bharatewa, Merlovich, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Wiranath, Talitoa, Aussiestan, Staynes, Distro-Spartica, Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, and 443 others.Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, The Three States of Fortuna, Khadah, Meagharia, Roissyland, West Nagato, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, New Amerindia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, The Almighty Country, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Lyontisia, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Drunken Seal Islands, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, The Empire of Rijelv, The solar ottomans, Upper Ellisse, New Ailartsua, Harro Waarudho, Sen Jast, Adavan, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, Am Echad, Duracell, Federated States of Zootron, Propwash, Rhealaliit, Slongs, The New Tace, Packilvania, Raneve Brusertheatel, Icelandic Imperium, Sengsara, The Militarius Imperium, Dreamersistan, Kyrtizhan, Biggstonia, Enou, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Khvetsch, CopyCato, Jamitri, Kristanya, Holy Alasia Orozen, Centrical Union, Lantros, Kucia, Lorynia, Janoobi 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