by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 28thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 117thLargest Insurance Industry: 209th
The Savage Takedown of
Father Knows Best State
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population23.519 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Savage Takedown of A mean old man is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, prohibition of alcohol, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 23.519 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Education are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,129 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 345,667 colostomy bags, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,886,227 per year while the poor average 32,445, a ratio of 58.1 to 1.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 52,486th in the world and 1,888th in The East Pacific for Most Pro-Market, scoring 58.56 on the Rand Index.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 28thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 117thLargest Insurance Industry: 209thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 226thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 248thHighest Disposable Incomes: 417thLargest Agricultural Sector: 563rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 620thHighest Economic Output: 671stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 704thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 722ndMost Corrupt Governments: 749thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,061stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,233rdHighest Average Incomes: 1,246thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,325thMost Influential: 1,582ndTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 2,340thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,413thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,419thLargest Mining Sector: 2,752ndLargest Black Market: 2,929thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2,942ndMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,510thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,724thLargest Populations: 4,264thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,986thBest Weather: 6,243rdLargest Governments: 6,776thFattest Citizens: 6,824thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,889thMost Secular: 8,453rdTop
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,992ndMost Efficient Economies: 15,288thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 15,913thMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,949thHighest Drug Use: 20,176thLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,288th
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 8th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 10th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 13th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 20th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 27th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 29th in the regionLargest Populations: 34th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 36th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 36th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 48th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 55th in the regionLargest Black Market: 56th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 60th in the regionMost Influential: 63rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 69th in the regionTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 117th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 123rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 142nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 151st in the regionLargest Governments: 173rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 180th in the regionBest Weather: 184th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 238th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 239th in the regionMost Secular: 298th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 389th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 407th in the regionTop
Highest Drug Use: 473rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 511th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 524th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 581st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 752nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 808th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 390 » Brotherland, Evrigenis, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, La xinga, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Tuvaltastan, Acronis, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Habsburg-Lorriane, Arkantis, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Morrowine, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, CheeseBurrito, Servants of Gizmo, Endertopias, Freedomindia, Dragonia, North Insomnia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Brethren, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, Abadong, H-Zhena, Eagas, Kario and Nix, The United Neo American Union, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Nifalembria Zamingstan, Blobbo, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, and 340 others.3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, Libertanny, HinduRashtr, Slonful, Bharatewa, Merlovich, Modra, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Vultuca, Wiranath, Talitoa, Aussiestan, Tretrid, Asendavia, Staynes, Distro-Spartica, The Big Brain Boys, Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, Raunch, Bachtendekuppen, The American Free States, Of Centralist Brexit, Coruh, Amabilis, Technocratic Tagalog, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, I-America-I, Goral, Belora Gyles, The Three States of Fortuna, Khadah, Yossito II, RealDealGG1, ParaSymmetry, Rage Mage, Vaskeden, Tseriesiscoming, Meagharia, Mays Austrian Nation, The Earth Systems Alliance, Sokala, Arcady-Asclepia, Rohanland, Roissyland, Under Sea Desert, BuciLand, Sycona, Grey Haven of Tauraucania, Filipopol, Equatannia, Flench, Halaethaed Commune, West Nagato, Konouj, Liberstankonia, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Forro Islands, Arkalarius, Kazukiyama, Aeljae, Puelo, ReReReRepublic, Ribanzi, Mercadir, Jakubonia, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Osterreich und Ungarn, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Stellar Colonies, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Shavara, Wapl, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, Calmarya, New Amerindia, XK-Class, Korktopia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Hexyia, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, Zanottilandia, Order of the saint Dumas, Phaialee, The Almighty Country, Pureian, Luisagna, Republic of Berzerkistan, Alderaciea, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Dratava, Kanadeer, Sheelberite, Firenation91, SecularNorth, Lundenia, Didusland, Kotawia, Federal Republic of Hetacia, West Akhzaristan, Lyontisia, Debluu, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Rythawelerzi, Dracacre, Loyalists Rebel, Forgottan, Drunken Seal Islands, St Guilders Gate, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, Cameronia Excellentia, Vishwa, Army of Chaos, New South Hope, Wizardonia, Lostwill, The Eternal Land of Jong, The Empire of Rijelv, Danzink, Washingtonian Order, New Pontiac, The Solar Ottomans, The Jamlandias, Dark Edgyness, Kavel, Upper Ellisse, United Dirtpile, New Ailartsua, Social Anarchist State, Harro Waarudho, The Argos Federation, Sen Jast, Bysios, Adavan, New Mainz, Qui sequuntur somnia, Nossepachina, Lilisk, Sancta Pannonia, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Memeenstien, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, Terra Occulus, Royal Myanmar, Am Echad, Jyzeria, Duracell, ArenaC, Federated States of Zootron, Calbee, Broengtopia, Propwash, Teddington, Rhealaliit, Adolanta, Kirmora, Bynzich, Mvannia, Slongs, Deertia, The New Tace, Packilvania, Chubaka, Worthless Miracles, Raneve Brusertheatel, Omarci, United Altancian, Icelandic Imperium, Gemmena, German South-East Africa, Sengsara, Bakaworld, Sansangra, The Militarius Imperium, Dreamersistan, Layngderfleethe, Kyrtizhan, Antserso, Trulu, Monix, Biggstonia, Enou, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Khvetsch, Lepinja, CopyCato, Merkez, Deciduos, Martonica, Jamitri, Tesseratum, Kadjaria, Hentaigoku, Chols Worithopia, San Castillo, Gemlon, Quebec-and-Maritimes, Kristanya, Urimel, Ayaupia, Citergue, Holy Alasia Orozen, Solis Ortis, Centrical Union, Lantros, Neue Leipzig, Kucia, VernKhalla, Iove, JohorRiau, Mensv2, Riveraland, Syriusz, 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