by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 41stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 128thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 134th
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Civil Rights
Below Average
Political Freedom

Overview Map Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population30.76 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, public floggings, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 30.76 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Healthcare, Industry, and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. The average income tax rate is 1.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth an astonishing 10,642 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 345,994 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 9,864th in the world and 234th in The East Pacific for Most Secular, with 95.54 Atheism Rate.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 41stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 128thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 134thLargest Insurance Industry: 183rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 357thHighest Disposable Incomes: 463rdMost Influential: 470thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 566thHighest Economic Output: 690thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 929thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,347thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,655thHighest Average Incomes: 1,683rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,759thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,979thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,022ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,206thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,388thTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 2,863rdMost Beautiful Environments: 3,376thLargest Black Market: 3,687thLargest Populations: 3,824thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,143rdLargest Mining Sector: 4,612thBest Weather: 4,722ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 6,081stMost Patriotic: 7,128thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,479thLargest Governments: 7,553rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 8,481stMost Secular: 9,864thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 11,214thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 11,863rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 11,946thTop
Longest Average Lifespans: 14,218thMost Scientifically Advanced: 22,033rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 23,304thMost Stationary: 24,163rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 25,543rdMost Efficient Economies: 26,176th
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 4th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 10th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 13th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 20th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 28th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 28th in the regionLargest Populations: 28th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 29th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 31st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 35th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 37th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 37th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 42nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 53rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 55th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 57th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 74th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 99th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 111th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 123rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 124th in the regionBest Weather: 129th in the regionMost Patriotic: 151st in the regionLargest Governments: 191st in the regionMost Secular: 234th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 239th in the regionTop
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 289th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 329th in the regionMost Stationary: 384th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 390th in the regionRudest Citizens: 406th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 519th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 542nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 550th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 365 » Todd McCloud, Plazland, Kelssek, Barfleur, ReeK, Headpat Central, Iodinia, Enlil, Freedomindia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Kangarawa, Unger under over, Abtracnt, Zang0, Talitoa, Axdel, Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, The Three States of Fortuna, Spiruvania, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, Bai Lung, The Almighty Country, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Lyontisia, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Drunken Seal Islands, and 315 others.Lurolona, The Empire of Rijelv, Harro Waarudho, Adavan, Duracell, Propwash, Slongs, Packilvania, Sengsara, Kyrtizhan, Enou, Narinoland, Kublam, Centrical Union, Lantros, Kucia, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Federation of Knights, Islandian Free States, Aihon, Pekweng, Komiker Mawrysharken, Mundiferrum, Samaltak True, Stellar Colonies, Debluu, United Order Republic, Dorles, Empire of Dabiristan, CheeseBurrito, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Kriov, Cacnesia, Oofery, Modra, From New World, Capave, Pizza devil cat, Order of the Saint Dumas, The Armed Savages, The planet nation, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ad Honorem Dei, Danelaw Scandinavia, Busto arsizio2, Harpiatopia, Blobbo, Arasakami, Pledonia, Adolanta, Isahaak, Anfair, Under Upper Antartica, Pernoss, Pacifist Cowards, Solek, Myehn, Awestre Gorend, Sandboxford, Aquyia, Thermodolian WA Mission, Comeradia, Buushi, Brethren, Entio, Hizuru, Constervatania, Azgatan, Sansangra, Caymarnia, Mardom, Thurland, Grand Exultia, Nuovo Regno Italico, Greater Dunlain, Her Malue, The Atlotl Archipelago, Cymru Broadcasters, The Soviet Texas Union, Verconia, West Elyria, Kampf Empire, East Malaysia, Aivintis, Goodnamesarerare, The Silver Telius, Ignis Aeternus, Tychko, Vilender, The 7th Coalition of Alba, The Marlands, AuthRight Authoritarianism, Tea Jol, Pakitsk, Chiveland, Xanis, Kurikia, Kaigi, Savage, The Free Republic of Japan, Kylondia, The Feld, Wheresia, Lointland, Mestov, Adinesi, EmpireBR, Azealand Isle, Imperial Phoenix Terra, North Abandonia, Unitria, Amabilis, Ami BangTanation, Vallangast, Estande, Solarhis, Estados Italicos, New Valar, New Sandsnionion, Atrocha, Murinian Union, Eldana, Anthonyland, American-Cascadia, Santa Dystopia, Avana Kreig, United Citizens, Wakeopolis, The Holy Rat, NewImperia, Daravon, Dragons Blood, New Gehenna, Chinookery, Agave, Northen Luxembourg, Grangrado, United Vica Scoldus, Neratica, Kavanos, Xinjiayuan, Pren Du, Mariarty, Developing World, Batreau, Keovia, Romanoddle Republic, East Anteltal, Nova Ukrayni, Mandatory Herding, Norgsveldet, Irizia, Xhya-zsathis 03b, Kallik, Emberwood Coast, Rainbow Vests, Novosejia, Cappedore, Sea Lions, Horseshoes and Hand Grenades, Marrabuk, Wiranath, New Garokirk, Bobadyk, Alarastra, Jankono, Vaskeden, Metzitlan, Azosd, OhCraplakistan, Gorloc, Malvekia, Carora, Nienor and Sokka, Sector 39-C, Akimera, Sticvil, Trinchet, Murshan, Pondingonia, Catistania, Foksan, Domicilium Requiem, Cornholiolands, United Worlds of Waifuland, Evdon, Mand Gre, Asendavia, Vanderblight, Grod Dratia, La Xinga, Roissyland, Floridian Australia, Altys, Tassirion, Alleramica, United states of Rickroll, Dwightica, Bissrigeor, Zulore, The Brazilian Freedom States, Terrabis-Seran, Pribleurndy, Norveeba, Nova Avalona, Ratlan, Zanithia, Massaaraloo, Leonaru, Auricland, Royabad, Froppill, The United States of Super, Saladass, Vervian Desire, Endertopias, Volinovia, Oothiteria, Troc, Lunma Un, Christinia, Slonful, Husseberg, Kuberistan, Shinycat, New Sciacca, The Montanans, Bundes Republic Deutschland, The Greater Coruscant, Faisol, Scotacia, Sergioica, Evrigenis, Oheia, New Chili, Resaaria, Wallenburg, Varhemia, The Nightmare and Dreams, Northern Ariton Ryursioy, Irgil, Illydia, Khusja, Gran Republica de Luigi, West Burnination, Davidos Bananos, The Unity Sisters, United North Yorkshire, Synaca, Kirsiaya, Ruseniya, New Afika, India and Nepal, Connerii, Anarchic Gang, Barlage, Vostocnyj Raj, Coruh, West Pangasinan, Weewooweewooweewoo, Tofoon, Luz de Luna, Compton-Conway, Dremaur, Merlovich, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Cyberstrom, The people of Gabon, The Higher and Lower Bautlands, Coldistania, Reino De Latine, Henren, Katalantana, Acronis, Lingu, Angbo, Strixen, Lady Lamashtu, Kaonas, Ibernia, Reynar, Veliekopolie, Chigakure, Dalia Porphyra, The Isles of Midori-Iro, NATOUSSR, New Massachusett, Hunterdon, Rarohenga, Zukchiva, Dech Che, VW53Aland, ArenaC, The Holy Caltro, West Nagato, Tathnia, Great Bartholomew, Deamoria, Oversimpfied, Jaoquinland, Democratic Narle She, The 2nd Kingdom of Doomland, Chinesasia, Anatolian People, Ytamaraty, The Digital Rights Collective, BeNjAmInLaNdIa, Vertal, Kalaratri, Tors Maj, and Horthgar.