by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 38thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 80thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 121st
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population27.413 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, parental licensing program, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 27.413 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry, Healthcare, and Environment also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 9,485 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 346,038 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 174,772nd in the world and 8,068th in The East Pacific for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides, with 2.46 Rich To Poor Income Ratio.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 38thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 80thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 121stLargest Insurance Industry: 194thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 246thMost Influential: 297thHighest Disposable Incomes: 450thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 552ndHighest Economic Output: 676thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 858thLargest Agricultural Sector: 997thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,050thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,078thHighest Average Incomes: 1,514thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,561stHighest Poor Incomes: 1,573rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,623rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,391stLowest Crime Rates: 2,511thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,783rdLargest Black Market: 2,964thLargest Mining Sector: 3,382ndMost Beautiful Environments: 3,590thMost Patriotic: 3,692ndLargest Populations: 3,986thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4,263rdBest Weather: 5,285thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,363rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,760thLargest Governments: 7,224thMost Ignorant Citizens: 8,188thMost Secular: 9,354thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 11,344thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,079thTop
Longest Average Lifespans: 14,554thMost Efficient Economies: 18,680thMost Scientifically Advanced: 20,093rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 21,878thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 23,658thFattest Citizens: 24,038th
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionMost Influential: 7th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 7th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 12th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 14th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 23rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 24th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 25th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 26th in the regionLargest Populations: 32nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 32nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 33rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 35th in the regionLargest Black Market: 54th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 57th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 57th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 64th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 73rd in the regionMost Patriotic: 87th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 113th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 130th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 139th in the regionBest Weather: 166th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 192nd in the regionLargest Governments: 213th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 279th in the regionMost Secular: 300th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 352nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 368th in the regionRudest Citizens: 421st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 459th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 480th in the regionFattest Citizens: 492nd in the regionMost Stationary: 545th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 579th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 590th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 592nd in the regionTop
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 679th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 861st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 896th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 932nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,016th in the regionMost Developed: 1,054th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 577 » Brotherland, Todd McCloud, Marrabuk, Plazland, Kelssek, Barfleur, ReeK, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, Iodinia, Enlil, Freedomindia, Dragonia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, Wanabe, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, Bharatewa, Zang0, Wiranath, Talitoa, Distro-Spartica, Axdel, Lingu, Azureano, Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, The Three States of Fortuna, West Nagato, Spiruvania, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, and 527 others.Roliganistan, Euricanis, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, Bai Lung, Malayku, Chria Deau, The Almighty Country, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Lyontisia, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Drunken Seal Islands, Lurolona, The Empire of Rijelv, The Solar Ottomans, Harro Waarudho, Adavan, United China Nation, Duracell, Propwash, Rhealaliit, Slongs, Packilvania, Icelandic Imperium, Sengsara, The Militarius Imperium, Dreamersistan, Kyrtizhan, Enou, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Jamitri, Kristanya, Holy Alasia Orozen, Centrical Union, Lantros, Kucia, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Noreds Thereneuthene, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Survivoristan, Konneticut, Dannemarie, Federation of Knights, Techny, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Islandian Free States, Aihon, Rainbow Vests, Harmonic Yeetlandia, Pekweng, Komiker Mawrysharken, Mundiferrum, Samaltak True, Stellar Colonies, Layngderfleethe, Debluu, United Order Republic, Dorles, Empire of Dabiristan, CheeseBurrito, Dravida India, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Kriov, Serkin, Daenyearly, Wakeopolis, Norna Chitya, Cacnesia, Coruh, Darkfull, Oofery, Modra, Karatol-Advenra, From New World, Capave, Pizza devil cat, Order of the Saint Dumas, Neldas, Freedom Fascists, Azeel, Fontesia, Mecsherstein, Tennabroch, Kalaratri, The Armed Savages, Moewland, The planet nation, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ulvesogullr, Roma IV, Ad Honorem Dei, The Great Andes, Danelaw Scandinavia, West Swedania, Busto arsizio2, Harpiatopia, Insolandie, Blobbo, Middle Pitburn, Sudarshan, Taapi, Juliania Secundus, Arasakami, Endertopias, Pledonia, Adolanta, Tofoon, Isahaak, Anfair, Dahom, Under Upper Antartica, Saladass, Severuslavia, Pernoss, Shavara, Pacifist Cowards, Danares, Catlovenia, Solek, Myehn, Preat, Vessarlian, Awestre Gorend, Sandboxford, Nythi, Seratiago, Aquyia, Veterans Association, Ravaria, Brenodian, Muxxia, Nifalembria Zamingstan, Vuclen, Kuseropia Repubationtopia, Scaperlancobbinstan, Lilisk, Formaro, Canadian Technocrats, Libertanny, Asark, Singapore3, Thermodolian WA Mission, Auslivia, Bastalis, Comeradia, Buushi, Actionland, Brethren, East Sakhlin, Kotterstan, Secrentum, New New New Alabama, In Insulam Autem Sanguis Et Magia, Arafors, Entio, Hizuru, Second Federal Republic of Colombia, Firlands, OwOUwUOwOUwU, Chorizos, Alemannian Empire, British Calradia, Bonluk, Sandsepol, Constervatania, Azgatan, Doranica, Sansangra, The Irish-Scottish Union, Xorvo, Caymarnia, Elzan, Abethia, Mardom, Guys it literally says YOU ARE SUS, Serene Amonkhet, Styklelilere, Fenosia, Thurland, The Holy Caltro, Nakosa, Liga ng Tagapagtanggol ng Payday 2, Republic of Restaks, Idk really, Tugboat7, Xylapan, Capartia, YSG Hermitcraft, Dermsie area, Grand Exultia, Islamarnia, Neuer California, Korasonos, Malitistan, Nuovo Regno Italico, Eagas, Kanonenpanzer und Flugzeuge, Greater Dunlain, Her Malue, The Atlotl Archipelago, Greater Novaria union, Neo-Western East Korea, Meowsle, Tuvaltastan, Reov, Cymru Broadcasters, The Soviet Texas Union, Speiland, Verconia, Greater Severny, Aztlanifornia, Yukolia, GoldenWolves, Macishuan, West Elyria, Navbharat reoccurrence, Utopianan, Kagunya, Frekhborlo, Huomesopia, Kilkire, ArenaC, Federated States of Zootron, Kampf Empire, The Empire of the Nightmare and Dreams, Kianhua, Colligation, Atelier Valley, Land of Corporations, Nothereland, Arkantis, Kurogasa, Casillo y Real, Eastern Alksearia, Ribanzi, VW53Aland, Albrook, Chalan, East Malaysia, The united republican democratic states, Small Siberia, Slonful, Fanderia, Sicilianzo, Nova Tobruk, Northern Obristan, Aivintis, Portugal Conquistador, Goodnamesarerare, Durne, Zamy, Arcadiam, New khanate, RussianConfederation, The Silver Telius, Ignis Aeternus, Burgindy, Vaskeden, Suztand, Romanoddle Republic, Sen Jast, East Deslang, Perah, Alexandrunia, Maredita, Varhemia, Risany Tripsonia, Trikistan, Eylstadt Izetta, Khaliba, Dakaristan, Theroso, Caro1inia, Indocena, The BlackCountry, Unimpirle, Tychko, Ultiumspes, Evrigenis, Northern Apla, Flayalipte, Blobon, Kelsyth, Caesargrad, Pyreniea, Yorksin, New Beesu, Imperial Ballirian Isleerse, Osterai, Tomasio, Tbetia, Kaingang, Gallisers, Alto Mare, The Omega Empire, Duranar, Bogliqia, Xuskor, Prefstacos, BadRNG, 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Commune of massalia, Compton-Conway, Tyrosalem, Andecton, Moskovo, Zohaib, Bazhaulistan, New Missoura, FREEHELL, Craiman, Emperio Portugues, Reino De Latine, EmpireBR, The 9 tailed fox, UNITED STATES OF THE SEA, Roalia, Washingtonian Order, Tsachenia, Orbnation, Harlan State, The new Tawantinsuyo, Seven Horizon, The Veaxol Peoples, Azealand Isle, Kond Mex Ethostorgel, Imperial Phoenix Terra, Frankinstan, The Old Empire of Free Democracy, NunKU, Tum Quan, Rappershofen, Zecivia, Romessa, The Provinces Peruanoball, Sofieria, Adezilla, The golodians, Warrior United, Endornia, Boser Salseo, Mariarty, North Abandonia, Koganenomori, The Antlantic islands, Hamurabi Kingdom, Adnysia, Kaldrbuth, Duontion, Unitria, Hachikuji, Zukerstan, New Monds Mousfal, Vikiandians, Cisalpae, Vatrium, Lancytos, Dremaur, Neclorland, Amabilis, United Nation of Eire, Z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z zy, Arastona, Ami Bangtanation, Vespuccina, Yomgo, and Nation of man.