The Welfarist Vizierdom of Pakitsk is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Vûlakìs Avēlôs Pârkōv with an even hand, and notable for its national health service, anti-smoking policies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 7.997 billion Pakotskì are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Võlatsk. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Pakatska economy, worth a remarkable 1,711 trillion danirtsks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 214,000 danirtsks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint, married couples must call each other "darling" or risk a fine, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high, and interest in globalism never flags. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Pakitsk's national animal is the marmot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Welfarism.

Pakitsk is ranked 223,083^rd in the world and 7,296^th in The East Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -544.57 on the Scary Big Number Scale.