The Militariat Republic of Merlovich is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Ali MacKillop with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 3.887 billion Merlovichans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Melbourne. The average income tax rate is 78.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Merlovichian economy, worth 596 trillion Merlovichan Dollars a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 153,583 Merlovichan Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

One tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber, posters on 'Merlovichian Values' advise against being proud of Merlovich, economists have been named Invertebrates of the Year, and high school bands practice by moonlight. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merlovich's national animal is the Kangaroo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is No Official Religion.

Merlovich is ranked 6,310^th in the world and 176^th in The East Pacific for Rudest Citizens, with 127.93 Insults Per Minute.