The Colony of Tea Jol is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its frequent executions, national health service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-working population of 640 million Tea Jolians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Galapagos. The average income tax rate is 62.0%.

The thriving Tea Jolian economy, worth 55.3 trillion kronor a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Retail, and Tourism. Average income is 86,364 kronor, with the richest citizens earning 5.2 times as much as the poorest.

Statues of famous citizens are erected or demolished on a purely partisan basis, one tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber, police officers often head to work wearing onesies and fluffy pink bunny-slippers, and the police double as repo men. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tea Jol's national animal is the turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Tea Jol is ranked 30,041^st in the world and 834^th in The East Pacific for Healthiest Citizens, with 8.22 bananas ingested per day.