The Federal Republic of Drunken Seal Islands is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by jizzmaster zero with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and daily referendums. The compassionate population of 10.815 billion Sealsmen are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 93.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Drunken Seal Islandsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,454 trillion Krangs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 134,473 Krangs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Members of majority races are forced out of their homes to make way for Bigtopians, future leaders of Drunken Seal Islands regularly dismiss pressing political issues when available options don't conform to their worldview, teenagers performing appendectomies on their friends has become a popular schoolyard prank, and it is a common belief that a sport isn't sport if there are no decapitations. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Drunken Seal Islands's national animal is the Drop Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Boganism.

Drunken Seal Islands is ranked 182,189^th in the world and 7,150^th in The East Pacific for Most Pro-Market, scoring -78 on the Rand Index.