The Federal Republic of Drunken Seal Islands is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by jizzmaster zero with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, daily referendums, and public floggings. The compassionate population of 8.325 billion Sealsmen are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 89.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Drunken Seal Islandsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,034 trillion Krangs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 124,230 Krangs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Statistics show that terrorists often come from broken families, warfare increasingly resembles a video game, all major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras, and the 'kind of scrawny' 500 meter hurdle is a popular event. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Drunken Seal Islands's national animal is the Drop Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Boganism.

Drunken Seal Islands is ranked 148,333^rd in the world and 5,779^th in The East Pacific for Most Extreme, scoring 8.45 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.