The *Not Holy* F℮d℮ral R℮public of Allinburg is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Martha Morrow with a fair hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, unlimited-speed roads, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic, humorless, devout population of 5.473 billion Allinburgians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of B℮rwin. The average income tax rate is 97.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Allinburgian economy, worth a remarkable 1,432 trillion th℮l℮rs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 261,771 th℮l℮rs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Martha Morrow can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees, Martha Morrow can't hear a thing when the unwashed masses throw rocks at the new state limousine, the Allinburg Enquirer offers weekly cash prizes for 'most blasphemous song, story, or cartoon', and Allinburgians believe manners maketh the leader. Crime is totally unknown. Allinburg's national animal is the purpl℮h℮ad ℮agl℮, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Anaviol℮tism.

Allinburg is ranked 3,359^th in the world and 14^th in The Free Nations Region for Lowest Crime Rates, with 121.26 law-abiding acts per hour.