The Republic of Fire Islands is a titanic, genial nation, notable for its irreverence towards religion, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 14.139 billion Firese are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it prioritizes Healthcare, with Environment, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fire City. The average income tax rate is 79.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Firese economy, worth 571 trillion Firese Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Pizza Delivery industry. Average income is 40,441 Firese Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Former gun owners are finding that brandishing paintball guns isn't as satisfying as the real thing, social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians, children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet, and the military recognizes no difference between male and female soldiers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Fire Islands's national animal is the Doge, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Fire Islands is ranked 106,608^th in the world and 1,276^th in the South Pacific for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 2,444.21 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.