The Socialist Commonwealth of Kelssek is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by the Prime Minister with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, rampant corporate plagiarism, and daily referendums. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 49.263 billion Kelsseks have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Neorvins. The average income tax rate is 96.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Kelssekian economy, worth a remarkable 6,462 trillion thalers a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 131,190 thalers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten, the "Dreadnowt" is the pride and joy of the Kelssekian Navy, The Prime Minister affectionately nicknames supporters by number, and feeling like a winner comes at a price. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kelssek's national animal is the polar bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kelssek is ranked 292,820^th in the world and 3,844^th in The East Pacific for Rudest Citizens, with 12.29 insults per minute.