The Peoples Republic of Salessll is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by President Jacob Hali with a fair hand, and renowned for its flagrant waste-dumping, smutty television, and daily referendums. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 11.688 billion Salans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Administration, although Education, Industry, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tocktockwo. The average income tax rate is 34.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Salan economy, worth a remarkable 2,019 trillion Zelmas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 172,772 Zelmas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government runs a surplus by selling its citizens, the government offers gay men mildly offensive tips on how to pass as straight, the government merely sends empty platitudes whenever natural disasters strike foreign nations, and dog owners proudly declare that their pups can predict when the mailman will arrive. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Salessll's national animal is the Black Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Salessll is ranked 17,056^th in the world and 412^th in the South Pacific for Longest Average Lifespans, with 90.81 years.