The Sometimes Pink of Purple Hyacinth is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by The High Hyacinth with an even hand, and notable for its national health service, complete lack of prisons, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 13.419 billion Purple Hyacinthians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The City of the Prancing Petals. The average income tax rate is 88.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Purple Hyacinthian economy, worth 995 trillion fragrant flowers a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 74,163 fragrant flowers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Purple Hyacinthians incessantly needle their doctors for relief, power stations shutting down at night has made bedtime reading tricky, all the playground's a stage for Purple Hyacinthian schoolchildren, and a government program is underway to revitalize Purple Hyacinth's beaches. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Purple Hyacinth's national animal is the flower-eating menace, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Hyacult.

Purple Hyacinth is ranked 303,931^st in the world and 3,765^th in the South Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -7.38 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.