The Rainbow Paradise of Purple Hyacinth is a massive, safe nation, ruled by The High Hyacinth with an even hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, complete lack of prisons, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.339 billion Purple Hyacinthians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The City of the Prancing Petals. The average income tax rate is 89.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Purple Hyacinthian economy, worth 311 trillion fragrant flowers a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 71,861 fragrant flowers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Purple Hyacinthians incessantly needle their doctors for relief, power stations shutting down at night has made bedtime reading tricky, all the playground's a stage for Purple Hyacinthian schoolchildren, and a government program is underway to revitalize Purple Hyacinth's beaches. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Purple Hyacinth's national animal is the flower-eating menace, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Hyacult.

Purple Hyacinth is ranked 26,289^th in the world and 817^th in the South Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 53.03 quips per hour.