The State of Heskurik is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Khrustah with an iron fist, and remarkable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, free-roaming dinosaurs, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.8 billion Heskurikea are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lupmre City. The average income tax rate is 72.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Heskuric economy, worth 962 trillion Heskuric Bënoes a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 165,991 Heskuric Bënoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The tightness of border controls in Heskurik leave a little to be desired, maximum security Heskuric subway stations inspire prison systems around the world, the military patrols the streets in search of possible secessionists, and military equipment is being auctioned off to extend comatose centenarians' lives. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heskurik's national animal is the Barno Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Krakowism.

Heskurik is ranked 102,468^th in the world and 249^th in Conch Kingdom for Most Cultured, scoring 66 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.