by Max Barry

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Agora RMB

WA Delegate: The Patrimonium of Saint Olav (elected )

Founder: The Naked Nomads of Nemonicus

Last WA Update:

Board Activity History Admin Rank

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 91st Most Influential: 512th Most Cultured: 528th+19
Most Rebellious Youth: 576th Most Inclusive: 742nd Most Nations: 773rd Largest Publishing Industry: 903rd Smartest Citizens: 1,015th Most Beautiful Environments: 1,168th Nicest Citizens: 1,194th Nudest: 1,214th Most Cheerful Citizens: 1,235th Most Compassionate Citizens: 1,394th Largest Information Technology Sector: 1,437th Healthiest Citizens: 1,521st Most Scientifically Advanced: 1,555th Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,632nd Most Armed: 1,877th Highest Poor Incomes: 1,968th Most Advanced Public Education: 2,027th Most Developed: 2,138th Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,216th
World Factbook Entry

    AGORA Founded April 1, 2016 --- Today is Arisis (February) 25, Year 2 of Agora

    "We're seriously silly, and silly about our seriousness"

  • Agora is what it is; no more, no less.

  • Embassy requests should be accompanied by a letter of introduction.
    Please, no un-solicited advertisements on the RMB.
    We appreciate your cooperation.

    § = sarcasm symbol

Embassies: Queens Coming Into Our Own, The Bar on the corner of every region, Zhaucauozian Friendship, Novapax, The Doxford, Norrland, Wintreath, The United Caribbean Island Alliance, Customs of Agora, 21st Century Rome, Agoran Imperial Army Headquarters, West Side of Agora, The Embassy, The Honorary Allied Nation States, Underworld, Order of the Southern North, and 19 others.Research And Development, Worldly Debate Region, The Sands, The Peaceful Coffee Shop In Chicago, The Bates Motel, Avadam Inn, The NewsStand, Gypsy Lands, Hollow Point, Bus Stop, Yarnia, United Nations of Earthlings, Portugal, Nordur, Pagan Rose, New Western Atlantic, The Dank Meme Alliance, Novo Brasil, and Coristno.

Tags: Social, Serious, Neutral, Casual, Medium, Password, and Silly.

Regional Power: Moderate

Agora contains 20 nations, the 773rd most in the world.

Today's World Census Report

The Largest Insurance Industry in Agora

The World Census posed as door-to-door salespeople in order to establish which nations have the most extensive Insurance industries.

As a region, Agora is ranked 13,701st in the world for Largest Insurance Industry.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Depressing Sepia Tones of Bill from AccountingCapitalist Paradise“It was the worst of times, it was the winter of despair”
2.The Overpopulated Dynasty of Scottian CommonwealthInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Where Dreams Come To Die!”
3.The Empire of LakotisLiberal Democratic Socialists“Only then can you be a true man”
4.The Democratorship of JanisportInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Tomorrow's Country”
5.The Bar Maintenance Worker of Neutrality FoundationCivil Rights Lovefest“From the ashes we form. To the ashes we end.”
6.The Republic of Agora PicayuneInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Bringing you the news in and out of Agora”
7.The Communist Democracy of ColoranLeft-wing Utopia“Peace and Prosperity for the Future”
8.The Smash Hit Movie Version of BrocklandiaAnarchy“Now playing!”
9.The Patrimonium of Saint OlavLibertarian Police State“Slaughter is the only means to a new beginning”
10.The Peanut-Butter Jar Nation of Morocco MoleLeft-wing Utopia“Dig”

Regional Happenings


Agora Regional Message Board

Saurisa wrote:And last I saw he was complaining about Chris Pine.

I was the one defending him. I like his Kirk. I liked his Steve Trevor. And I liked his Prince Charming.

Chris Pine & Billy Magnussen - Agony

"Did I abuse her
Or show her disdain?
Why does she run from me?
If I should lose her,
How shall I regain
The heart she has won from me?

Beyond power of speech,
When the one thing you want
Is the only thing out of your reach.

High in her tower,
She sits by the hour,
Maintaining her hair.
Blithe and becoming and frequently humming
A lighthearted air:

Far more painful than yours,
When you know she would go with you
If there only were doors.

Oh, the torture they teach!

What's as intriguing-

Or half so fatiguing-

As what's out of reach?

Am I not sensitive,
As kind as I'm handsome
And heir to a throne?

You are everything maidens could wish for!

Then why no

Do I know?

The girl must be mad!

You know nothing of madness
Till you're climbing her hair
And you see her up there
AS you're nearing her,
All the while hearing her:




Though it's different for each.

Always ten steps behind-

Always ten feet below-

And she's just out of reach.
That can cut like a knife!

I must have her to wife."

I sang the whole thing envisioning the scene.

Janisport wrote:I'm home, I've missed you guys

Welcome back ... Uh, whoever you are. :)

Just kidding. We remember you. Hey, Nemo!--Janis came back, and that means you owe me a nickel!

Brocklandia wrote:Hey, Nemo!--Janis came back, and that means you owe me a nickel!

Tosses Brock a nickel

I'm still going to win the Lampar pool, just you see.

Very important Taube RP update: King Edward I Toromas is portrayed by Jude Law.

Thank you, that is all for now.

Gettenfeld wrote:

Surrounded by his staff on the bridge, high above the deck of the newly christened battlecruiser HMS Ragamor, Grand Duke Edward I Toromas cast his characteristic steely gaze at an imbroglio of maps, charts, and reports. He had set off, with a small armada, to demand that the Vestiarch stop harboring the criminals and terrorists that populated her province of Taube- hardly the subtle diplomat that comes to mind when one hears the name Toromas. A junior staffer, shakily and with much trepidation, asked Edward if they should maybe tell the Vestiarch that they were coming with half a dozen gunboats. After a few seconds of palpably tense silence, Edward huffed and barked, "Why haven't you done that already?!" With a very mouselike scurry, the junior staffer raced to the communications station and told the operator to wire into Ameuois informing them of their approach.

Turning, out of breath, into the Grand Duke's personal chambers, the junior staffer beheld a visibly more calm and collected Edward. Stuffing a small bottle into his trouser pocket, Edward raised his eyebrows questioningly and, seeing the staffer's asthmatic and laborious nodding, turned back to the latest report to come across his desk. Reading to himself, Edward murmured that, "Customs officials in the Bohemian Protectorate are becoming increasingly vocal about the number of suspicious foreigners migrating into Taube, as they believe that many of them are answering Knockery's call to form International Brigades." Edward, of course, knew that some of those immigrants are agents of the Corsinian Intelligence Association, but certainly not all of them. Rising from his chair, Edward reaches into the drawer beneath his desk and retrieves a bottle of JanisPorter. Noticing the junior staffer was still in the room, Edward showed an uncommon sign of caring by offering the staffer a glass. Shakily agreeing, the staffer took a seat. Setting two glasses in between them, Edward looked deep into the staffer's fleeting eyes and in a slow, steady tone, asked, "Surely you've got a name, yes? Where's your family from?" It took a few seconds for it to sink in that the Grand Duke was, actually was, talking to the lowly junior staffer, but when it did, the young officer replied, "I-I'm called Sebastos Pleonkalos, from Vromiapoli." Edward, slowly pouring each of their drinks, softly said, "That's not your real name, is it?" Looking like a deer in the headlights, the junior staffer stammered and sputtered. Edward let out a dry, emotionless chuckle. "Sure, that's the name you enlisted under, but what's your real name?" Sweat pooling from every orifice, the junior staffer, finally confronted with the reality that there was no hiding from Edward, quietly, almost inaudibly, said, "Enrico Simberini." Edward took a long, savory draw from his drink, and, finally breaking the tension, said, "This ship is still new- I haven't seen every corner. Tell me what the brig is like." Enrico shuddered and cowered in his seat, expecting at any second to be arrested and dragged off to the brig. When he finally dared to crack open his tightly wrenched eyes, all he saw was Edward slowly downing the dregs of his glass. Setting it down gently, Edward stared all but emotionless into Enrico's eyes, into his very soul. Slowly, the realization crept into Enrico's mind. Edward meant for Enrico to escort himself to his own cell. Such was the power and sway Edward held over those in his thrall, that he did not feel the need to send enforcers to execute his will. His reputation alone would do the trick.

Back in Gettenfeld proper, Edward had left a Lord High Steward to keep things running smoothly in his absence. His appointee, Sir Archibald von Demenz, a doting pensioner in his 90s, was doing his utmost to maintain order and the rule of law in Gustavia while Edward was away. Unfortunately, his rule with an iron fist was frequently interrupted by long naps and games of bingo. In the absence of a proper autocrat, the peoples of Gettenfeld have begun to operate an underground free press and radio stations, offering firm dissent against the Edwardian Reforms. The most prominent of these, Radio Eleftheros, was broadcast by a high school AV club led by Alaric Bergenberg. Alaric was a student at Anatoli Public High School in Adrianople, the leader of the Student Action Coordination Committee, and a vocal Democratic Socialist. Alaric adjusts his headphones, checks his mic and, with a thumbs up from his producer, begins to orate, in a thick Brooklyn-esque accent, about the intolerable conditions that Edward and his goons have enacted. Alaric decries the dissolution of Parliament, and the sidestepping of the masses' will at every turn. Finally, at the end of about 15 minutes of powerful oration, Alaric ends his broadcast with an impassioned cry to end the injustice of the current administration, a thinly veiled call for revolution.

This vocal dissent, of course, could not be tolerated by the Lord High Steward, who ordered a warrant for his arrest to be drawn up. Word of this, however, leaked to Commune sympathizers in the Adrianople area, who quickly rallied a band of volunteers to extract Alaric. A pair of 'Kalisti* shadow a convoy of security forces as it makes its way from Constantinople to Adrianople, relaying updates to their comrades setting a perimeter around Anatoli PHS. The convoy, with a complement of some 150 soldiers, arrives in a series of trucks just before 8 am, the same time school begins at APHS. In the second story windows and in street-level storefronts, a detachment of less than 30 'Kalisti lie in wait. Even though they are outnumbered and outgunned, they know the streets around the Grand Synagogue like the back of their hand, and the neighborhood has been a historical hotbed for radical leftists. As the first truck is unloaded of the men aboard it, a 'Kalisti opens up on them with a machine gun from behind a fruit stand. Pomegranates and mangoes are flung into the air by the rattling of the Maxim gun, and several soldiers are struck. Dragging their wounded comrades to cover behind the truck, the rear of the convoy attempts to turn around, but finds that they have been barricaded in by the locals. The rest of the soldiers begin to dismount from their trucks, but a 'Kalisti throws a Molotov cocktail into the bed of the rear truck, sending the truck and more than a dozen soldiers up in flames. Trapped now between a flaming hulk and the enemy, the remaining soldiers form up into loose skirmish lines and begin pouring fire into the 'Kalisti positions. Once the soldiers get their own weapons team into action, the 'Kalisti machine gun emplacement is quickly mopped up, and the soldiers begin to sweep the houses on foot. Terrified mothers and their children scream as soldiers bust down their doors, scurrying out of the way as their rifles efficiently inspect every corner. Once the first floor is found to be empty of militants, they proceed quickly up the narrow stairway to the second floor. Quickly, but not cautiously, as another Molotov cocktail is thrown down upon the soldiers' heads, immolating another twenty men. The Captain orders the soldiers to beat a hasty retreat, as they have taken nearly 1/3 casualties.

The victory for the 'Kalisti is short lived, however, as the soldiers return within the hour accompanied by 3 field artillery pieces. The field guns rapidly demolish the apartment buildings and shops on either side of the boulevard, taking with it not just armed militants, but also a dozen civilians. Once the area has been sufficiently pacified, the remaining hundred-odd soldiers and their artillery move on to Anatoli Public High School to conduct their raid. But, they are too late, as Alaric Bergenberg is long gone, having fled the school and city the moment he heard the first shots fired. Aboard a train to Ragusa, Alaric hears a radio report of the action on the streets of Adrianople. The Battle of Karpos-Dimos is already unfolding into a PR nightmare, and the murdered citizens have become instant martyrs for the Socialist cause. Alaric's resolve was stronger than ever that the Revolution wasn't only for Taube- it was for Gettenfeld too.

*'Kalisti is the term for a Syndicalist or otherwise Socialist guerrilla operating in Gettenfeld itself


Almost immediately after stepping off the train in coastal Salona on the Adriatic coast, Alaric Bergenberg had gotten together with prominent local workers, leftist politicians, and intellectuals to form the Salona Soviet Republic, or SSR. The SSR was more democratic-socialist in nature than the Syndicalist Commune, identifying most with Comrade Audrey. Workers up and down the Dalmatian coast rose up in solidarity with their Comrades in Salona, and soon they all joined together in the United Dalmatian Socialist Communities, or UDSC, with Salona as the capital. The only areas of the Adriatic coast that remained under Edward's rule was the city of Trieste and the Istria peninsula sans the city of Pula, which declared itself a Soviet. Commissars were sent inland to the country side and down the Danube to help spread the Revolutionary Wind. A Soviet was attempted in Adrianople, but that effort was rapidly crushed without Alaric Bergenberg's charismatic personal leadership, as well as by virtue of being so near to Edward's base of power in Marmara.

This notion prevented such brazen rebellion in southern Gettenfeld as was seen in the north and west, but it was not enough to stop the United Longshoremen of Corsin (the city) from declaring a massive strike until the unrest in the country ended. They were soon joined by the Teamsters Union, as well as the Steelworkers and Teachers Unions. With the four most powerful unions in the city standing in solidarity, the rest of the smaller unions all inevitably joined in the General Strike. Work in Gettenfeld's second city ground to a complete halt. For weeks, the factory owners and government stared down the striking workers, and they stared right back. Finally, after the third week of the general strike, the government announced that the strikers had one week to disband their unions and return to work, on penalty of incarceration or death. In response, the United Workers of Corsin seized and fortified the docks and surrounding districts, and declared the foundation of the Corsin Social Association. The CSA had a strong Anarchist bent to it, and promoted self management in the factories. While a Trade Unions Congress, called the Free Association of Corsin, was formed, the bulk of the internal power resided in the individual factories and their workers. The CSA managed to extend its influence over the entirety of Central Macedonia by offering the workers there to voluntarily join them. The CSA militia was provided by the factory workers of Central Macedonia, which was very heavily industrialized, and they elected their own officers. The CSA and UDSC's combined territories cut off Edward's land route to peninsular Greece, leaving it to be divvied up between the Anarchists, the Social Democrats, and the Loyalist garrisons and militias.

However, the final blow to Edward's authority would come from the one institution he thought he could rely on unconditionally: the Navy. Crewmen of the dreadnought HMS Philippic, docked at Port Suez near the Canal, had killed their officers, elected new ones, and declared the ship loyal to the CSA. Philippic was the flagship of the fleet based at the Canal, and the rest of the armada there quickly followed the lead ship's example. Soon afterwards, revolutionary sailors had came ashore and wrested control of the coastal artillery batteries on shore. After a short but sharp engagement, the big guns were secured, and turned on the barracks of the Suez Garrison. The soldiers had no choice but to surrender, as they would've been blown to bits if they'd refused. Many enlisted men, and a small number of officers, of the Suez Garrison pledged their loyalty to the CSA. The CSA now had control of the most important strait in all of Gettenfeld, one of the most vital in the whole world.

Gettenfeld wrote:Very important Taube RP update: King Edward I Toromas is portrayed by Jude Law.

Jude Law is still alive? How about that? Wait--if Jude Law is still alive, does that mean King Edward I Toromas is still alive too?

Tired: Jude Law
Wired: Nude Law

Calls out to the passers-by on the plaza

Nothing nude about our delicious Squirrel Tajini so step right up!

For here or to go, the Tajini Hut will meet your Indian cuisine needs.

Morocco Mole wrote:Calls out to the passers-by on the plaza

Nothing nude about our delicious Squirrel Tajini so step right up!

For here or to go, the Tajini Hut will meet your Indian cuisine needs.

May I have 500 pounds of naan? And make it quick I'm in a hurry.

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