by Max Barry

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Agora RMB

WA Delegate: The Archduchy of Saint Olav (elected )

Founder: The Naked Nomads of Nemonicus

Last WA Update:

Board Activity History Admin Rank

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 83rd Most Nations: 658th Most Cultured: 679th+12
Most Rebellious Youth: 719th Most Influential: 784th Nudest: 1,165th Most Inclusive: 1,188th Most Cheerful Citizens: 1,220th Largest Publishing Industry: 1,246th Smartest Citizens: 1,444th Nicest Citizens: 1,508th Most Beautiful Environments: 1,701st Largest Information Technology Sector: 1,871st Most Scientifically Advanced: 2,067th Healthiest Citizens: 2,096th
World Factbook Entry

    Founded April 1, 2016 --- Today is Estidonas (November) 22, Year 2 of Agora.

    "We're seriously silly, and silly about our seriousness"

  • Agora is a fun, eccentric region where conversation takes place in the Convergence Plaza, which straddles the confluence of our three great rivers. We pride ourselves in our inclusiveness, openness to new ideas, and the diversity of residents from around the world. And bacon.

  • Immigration for the region is through Customs of Agora. The Immigration Control of Agora dispatch will give you information on the application process. Nations newly-arrived in Agora are asked to introduce themselves in the common chat.

  • Please, no un-solicited advertisements on the regional message board. We appreciate your cooperation.

Embassies: Zhaucauozian Friendship, The Bar on the corner of every region, Novapax, The Doxford, Norrland, Queens Coming Into Our Own, Wintreath, The United Caribbean Island Alliance, Customs of Agora, 21st Century Rome, West Side of Agora, Agoran Imperial Army Headquarters, The Embassy, The Honorary Allied Nation States, Underworld, Order of the Southern North, and 8 others.Research And Development, Ranch Dressing Expert Union, Worldly Debate Region, The Sands, The Peaceful Coffee Shop In Chicago, Avadam Inn, The Bates Motel, and The NewsStand.

Construction of embassies with Gypsy Lands has commenced. Completion expected .

Tags: Password, Role Player, Neutral, Medium, Social, Silly, Casual, and Serious.

Regional Power: Moderate

Agora contains 24 nations, the 658th most in the world.

Today's World Census Report

The Largest Black Market in Agora

World Census agents tracked "off the books" deals and handshake agreements in order to study the size of nations' informal economies.

As a region, Agora is ranked 3,682nd in the world for Largest Black Market.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Nothing is raining down of LakotisInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Live long and prosper”
2.The Slightly Agitated Celts of Scottian CommonwealthInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Where Dreams Come To Die!”
3.The Archduchy of Saint OlavLibertarian Police State“Slaughter is the only means to a new beginning ”
4.The Smash Hit Movie Version of BrocklandiaAnarchy“Now playing!”
5.The Democratorship of JanisportInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Tomorrow's Country”
6.The Stray Dog of RuberFather Knows Best State“I see a Bad Moon rising”
7.The Crystalline Cubicle of Bill from AccountingCapitalist Paradise“It was the worst of times, it was the winter of despair”
8.The Moose Caboose of GettenfeldLeft-Leaning College State“Celebrating the Best Year in Agora's History”
9.The Cheesecake Enthusiasts 🍰🍰🍰 of New DukaineCivil Rights Lovefest“We shall stay at the top, even if threatened below!”
10.The Free Land of CapriculaNew York Times Democracy“Again?”

Recent polls: “The Matriarchy of Gypsy Lands of the region Gypsy Lands proposed constructing embassies.”“'Hollow Point' proposed constructing embassies.”“Taube Soviet Leading Faction: You Decide!”

Regional Happenings


Agora Regional Message Board

Janisport wrote:Can't I have some eggs with my bacon?

Yes. And toast.

And orange juice from Capricornarius. Best in NS.

Coloran wrote:Vote Bacon.

Bacon can always be trusted.

Gettenfeld wrote:Soylent Brock... is people!!

Is that a problem? Everything and everyone tastes better with ketchup.

Gettenfeld and Morocco Mole

Iescech wrote:

Veronique takes the quill and signs her elaborate signature. She remembers how her mother looked carefully over her shoulder when she was just a child practicing her penmanship. ”No, Veronique, the lines are too far apart, make them closer together. The ‘q’ can be a bit more elegant. The “n’ looks too straight.”
Of all of the things she could be thinking about right now, and she thinks of her penmanship...she turns to Comrade Audrey.

“Bernadette, I hope you will stay for dinner. It will be just us; there’s a restaurant just up the road from here. Hopefully we can talk more about more important issues there.”

Bernadette watched the Vestiarch's signature gracefully curve across the document, and a warm smile spreading across Bernadette's face. "Veronique, we have made a great step towards peace in our time by signing this ceasefire." Bernadette grasped her quill and applied her Hancock to the document, not quite as elegant as Veronique, but every bit as neat and dignified. "And that," Bernadette said as she applied the final brushstroke, "Is that. I would be honored to accompany you to dinner. I will be in Iescech for as long as it takes to get all of our ducks in a row." Bernadette placed the signed document and the overlarge quills back into the briefcase, locked it, and stood to shake the Vestiarch's hand.

Things were not quite so friendly back in the Taube Commune, as the Soviet was now known, most notably withing the PCD. Comrade Marshal Broti had deigned to return from the front, and his supporters threw him a lavish parade to celebrate his heroic deeds and return. However, the reaction was tepid at best, as the Tauben people were not eager for war and thusly were not up for celebrating it so lavishly. Many media outlets and water-cooler pundits posited that the whole "Grand Expensive Parade to Celebrate a Big War Hero" thing was a bit, well, much, as well as kinda un-Socialist in its extravagance. The same skeptics also pointed out that Comrade Knockery's war exploits were much more important, impactful, and daring compared to Broti's. This didn't stop Marshal Broti from having his faction bestow upon him the agnomen Taubicus and granting him a full Roman Triumph. The triumphal Marshal Broti Taubicus rode atop the turret of a tank in his full dress whites, waving to the sparse, disinterested crowds going about their business on either side of the wide boulevard. The Marshal had expected to be showered with roses, but he was instead showered with plump hydroponic tomatoes and lukewarm cheese curds. Broti cursed and ducked inside the turret, fuming at the public humiliation. None the less, Comrade Marshal Broti Taubicus and his procession arrived at St Aphrodisius Square, where the Marshal was to give an address. It happened to be the end of the shift at the neighboring Pork and Pig Iron Works (a combined slaughterhouse and steel mill), so there were a great number of folks in the square when Broti began to orate. The Marshal had begun without any introduction, so most of the people turning around were more ticked off at this Rustur for interrupting their own conversations than were genuinely interested in his ideas. Undeterred, Broti cried into a megaphone, "The current regime has left us unsafe and vulnerable! We are surrounded on every side by the imperialistic vultures of Iescech and Gettenfeld! We must be strong, and we must strike preemptively! Everyone with me, we must overthrow Knockery and his spineless goons!" While some of the friendless, socially maladjusted dimwits from the Works nodded along in agreement, the great majority of the throng was up in arms against Broti's ideas. They clamored that Iescech is and always has been our friend, and that peace is the way forward. One worker even called out that Comrade Knockery was much cuter than Comrade Broti. With his grand return an utter embarrassment, Broti and his goons decided that if they could not secure the loyalty of the people from the ground up, they'd have to do it from the top down. The PCD would have to be purged.

Broti knew he couldn't smoke Knockery without first destroying his support. After all, if he simply killed Knockery someone else would take his place. Broti needed to clear the field. With Knockery a non-starter, and Comrade Audrey in Iescech, Broti knew he must start with Comrades Dearborn and Simber. Through a scrappy but lovable street urchin Broti's men learned that Dearborn and Simber were to meet for breakfast at a cafe on the Solbell Canal the next day. A plan was quickly drafted. Two of Broti's henchmen would, in plain clothes, approach the pair as they dined, confirm their identities, dispose of them, and escape in a waiting get away car driven by a third conspirator.

WARNING This part is pretty graphic, so if you aren't up for that I'd recommend skipping to the bold TL;DR at the bottom for a summary of what happens next.

Early the next morning, at 6:05 am local time, an unmarked sedan screeched to a halt in front of the Zamos Cafe. Out from it tumbled two men who reeked of alcohol. Earlier that morning, in the predawn haze, they had each taken a shot of courage from a bottle of whiskey, but they'd ended up polishing off the whole thing. The pair stumbled into the Zamos, pushing past the indignant wait staff and stumbled to the table occupied by Simber and Dearborn. The first man drew his .45 automatic handgun from his vest and squeezed the trigger, but it failed to fire as the safety was still engaged. He gazed at it confusedly for a split second, then he bludgeoned Dearborn in the back of the head with his piece. The second assailant drew his revolver and quickly poured its cylinder into Simber's chest and head. Simber slumped over lifelessly just as Dearborn rose again. When Rose saw the bloody mess that remained of Lucky Simber, she screamed and nearly fainted. Finally, the assailant with the auto managed to deactivate the safety and fired erratically in Dearborn's direction. Even though he was at less than point blank range, most of his 15-round magazine did not strike his target, but rather the furniture, other restaurant patrons, and even his own partner's leg. However, he had managed to blow off the side of Dearborn's head, and she slumped over into her plate of pierogi, though she was still breathing. The two goons, even though one was wounded, managed to scoop up Dearborn's barely living body and haul it over to the railing overlooking the Solbell Canal, into which they unceremoniously dumped her. They went back in to give Lucky Simber the same treatment, but they were forced to abandon their task when they heard the approaching wail of police sirens and the incessant honking of their get away driver. The pair ran as best they could in their impaired state past shocked and terrified diners and dove into the idling car, with one assassin dropping his .45 automatic. The car squealed as it peeled off into the foggy morning dew. The time was 6:15 am.

TL;DR Comrades Rose Dearborn and Carl "Lucky" Simber are assassinated by Broti's nearly incompetent goons.

Nemonicus, Iescech, and Saint Olav

No dinner parties until I get more business.

crosses arms

Iescech and Morocco Mole

“The only deity this country needs is the one it already has, master,” says Emmanuel Syme, one of your creepier advisers while obsequiously bowing on the floor. “I of course refer to you, Lucius Gryllus, the finest ruler any humble subject could hope to have! We long to worship you and do your bidding! Some call that a cult of personality, but I prefer to call it... love.”


Aaaand next

Gettenfeld and Iescech

Lucius Licinius Gryllus wrote:No dinner parties until I get more business.

crosses arms

You've cancelled two already.

What do we have to purchase to ensure a proper celebration?

Gettenfeld and Iescech

Some agoran hackers are trying to crack the password to my rare fabergé egg collection.

Gettenfeld, Iescech, and Lucius Licinius Gryllus

Coloran wrote:Some agoran hackers are trying to crack the password to my rare fabergé egg collection.

damn, foiled again


Morocco Mole wrote:You've cancelled two already.

What do we have to purchase to ensure a proper celebration?

Do you see my classification? It's 'factotum', meaning "a person who does many/all things.'

Imagine me as Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption. I can get you anything.

Whoever makes a 400 RM purchase in the next two hours will be the savior of the dinner party

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