The Socialist Commonwealth of Kelssek is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by the Prime Minister with a fair hand, and renowned for its rampant corporate plagiarism, unlimited-speed roads, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 44.066 billion Kelssekians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Neorvins. The average income tax rate is 97.0%.

The all-consuming Kelssek economy, worth a remarkable 5,708 trillion thalers a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 129,534 thalers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has announced its plans to construct a giant weaponised robot-cat, residents of houses built on a foundation of wishful thinking are prone to an odd sinking feeling, bins outnumber trees in city parks, and Loud Patriotic Music Day has been ranked the seventh best new holiday of the year. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kelssek's national animal is the polar bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kelssek is ranked 5,966^th in the world and 175^th in The East Pacific for Safest, scoring 128.31 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.