by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 36thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 113thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 123rd
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Influence
Apprentice
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Map Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population31.384 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart
Faithforgotten

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, strictly enforced bedtime, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 31.384 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Healthcare, Industry, and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. The average income tax rate is 1.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth an astonishing 10,853 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 345,835 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 2,939th in the world and 71st in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 131.02 law-abiding acts per hour.

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 36thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 113thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 123rdLargest Insurance Industry: 177thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 382ndHighest Disposable Incomes: 465thMost Influential: 553rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 572ndHighest Economic Output: 677thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 946thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,430thHighest Average Incomes: 1,805thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,871stHighest Poor Incomes: 2,066thLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,112thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,255thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,268thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,529thLowest Crime Rates: 2,939thTop
5%
Most Beautiful Environments: 3,429thLargest Populations: 3,761stLargest Black Market: 3,931stBest Weather: 4,687thLargest Mining Sector: 4,881stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,983rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 6,268thLargest Governments: 7,715thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,146thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 8,797thMost Patriotic: 9,167thMost Secular: 10,078thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 11,249thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 11,912thLongest Average Lifespans: 14,052ndTop
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Most Ignorant Citizens: 16,249thMost Stationary: 23,110thMost Scientifically Advanced: 23,222ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 23,456thLargest Information Technology Sector: 26,955thMost Efficient Economies: 28,142nd
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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Influential: 4th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 8th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 13th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 16th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 20th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 24th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 25th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 27th in the regionLargest Populations: 27th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 31st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 37th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 37th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 44th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 44th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 52nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 55th in the regionTop
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Lowest Crime Rates: 71st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 96th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 97th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 103rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 110th in the regionBest Weather: 121st in the regionMost Patriotic: 172nd in the regionLargest Governments: 186th in the regionMost Secular: 225th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 264th in the regionTop
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Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 322nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 364th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 370th in the regionMost Stationary: 373rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 447th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 518th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 541st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 564th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 580th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 392 » Todd McCloud, Plazland, Kelssek, Barfleur, ReeK, Headpat Central, Iodinia, Enlil, Freedomindia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Kangarawa, Unger under over, Abtracnt, Zang0, Talitoa, Axdel, Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, The Three States of Fortuna, Spiruvania, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, Bai Lung, The Almighty Country, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Lyontisia, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Drunken Seal Islands, and 342 others.Lurolona, The Empire of Rijelv, Harro Waarudho, Adavan, Duracell, Propwash, Slongs, Packilvania, Kyrtizhan, Enou, Narinoland, Kublam, Centrical Union, Lantros, Kucia, Janoobi Jazair, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Federation of Knights, Islandian Free States, Aihon, Pekweng, Komiker Mawrysharken, Mundiferrum, Samaltak True, Stellar Colonies, United Order Republic, Dorles, Empire of Dabiristan, CheeseBurrito, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Kriov, Cacnesia, Modra, From New World, Capave, Pizza devil cat, Order of the Saint Dumas, The Armed Savages, The planet nation, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ad Honorem Dei, Danelaw Scandinavia, Busto arsizio2, Blobbo, Arasakami, Pledonia, Adolanta, Isahaak, Anfair, Under Upper Antartica, Pernoss, Pacifist Cowards, Solek, Myehn, Awestre Gorend, Sandboxford, Thermodolian WA Mission, Comeradia, Buushi, Brethren, Entio, Hizuru, Constervatania, Azgatan, Sansangra, Caymarnia, Mardom, Thurland, Nuovo Regno Italico, Greater Dunlain, Her Malue, The Atlotl Archipelago, Cymru Broadcasters, The Soviet Texas Union, Verconia, West Elyria, Kampf Empire, East Malaysia, Aivintis, Goodnamesarerare, The Silver Telius, Ignis Aeternus, Tychko, Vilender, The 7th Coalition of Alba, The Marlands, AuthRight Authoritarianism, Tea Jol, Pakitsk, Kurikia, Kaigi, Savage, The Free Republic of Japan, Kylondia, Lointland, Mestov, Adinesi, EmpireBR, Imperial Phoenix Terra, North Abandonia, Unitria, Amabilis, Ami BangTanation, Vallangast, Estande, Solarhis, Estados Italicos, New Valar, New Sandsnionion, Atrocha, Murinian Union, Eldana, Anthonyland, American-Cascadia, Santa Dystopia, Avana Kreig, United Citizens, Wakeopolis, The Holy Rat, Daravon, Dragons Blood, New Gehenna, Chinookery, Agave, Northen Luxembourg, United Vica Scoldus, Neratica, Kavanos, Xinjiayuan, Pren Du, Mariarty, Developing World, Batreau, Keovia, Romanoddle Republic, East Anteltal, Norgsveldet, Irizia, Xhya-zsathis 03b, Kallik, Emberwood Coast, Rainbow Vests, Novosejia, Cappedore, Sea Lions, Horseshoes and Hand Grenades, Wiranath, New Garokirk, Bobadyk, Jankono, Vaskeden, Azosd, OhCraplakistan, Gorloc, Malvekia, Carora, Sector 39-C, Akimera, Sticvil, Murshan, Pondingonia, Catistania, Foksan, Cornholiolands, United Worlds of Waifuland, Evdon, Mand Gre, Asendavia, Vanderblight, Grod Dratia, La Xinga, Roissyland, Floridian Australia, Tassirion, Alleramica, United states of Rickroll, Dwightica, The Brazilian Freedom States, Terrabis-Seran, Norveeba, Nova Avalona, Ratlan, Zanithia, Massaaraloo, Leonaru, Auricland, Royabad, Froppill, Saladass, Vervian Desire, Endertopias, Volinovia, Oothiteria, Troc, Lunma Un, Christinia, Slonful, Husseberg, Kuberistan, New Sciacca, The Montanans, Bundes Republic Deutschland, Faisol, Scotacia, Sergioica, Evrigenis, New Chili, Resaaria, Varhemia, The Nightmare and Dreams, Northern Ariton Ryursioy, Khusja, United North Yorkshire, New Afika, Connerii, Coruh, West Pangasinan, Luz de Luna, Compton-Conway, Dremaur, Cyberstrom, The people of Gabon, The Higher and Lower Bautlands, Coldistania, Henren, Katalantana, Angbo, Strixen, Lady Lamashtu, Kaonas, Reynar, Veliekopolie, Dalia Porphyra, The Isles of Midori-Iro, Hunterdon, Rarohenga, Zukchiva, VW53Aland, ArenaC, The Holy Caltro, West Nagato, Great Bartholomew, Oversimpfied, Chinesasia, The Digital Rights Collective, BeNjAmInLaNdIa, Kalaratri, Tors Maj, Horthgar, Hieggary, Nova Tobruk, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Singapore3, Krozland, Maltitalerland, Klonazepam, Asterborne, FrankieMania, Tasoland, The Oass, EliCon, Priti Purple Wonderland, Haltyas, Mother CupcakKe, New Solainsula, Apulon, The United States Of Harbinger, Zapatapa, Greater American Freedom, Island Revildor, Norim Selen, Marexi, Washingtonian Order, Naui Tu, Gruntopia, Osmauri, Nova Klarnistria, Tiby, Nugget Union, Eastern Unnit, Maximas, North Canterandar, Squid Ruinosa, Enari, Shieburg, Restovix, The Foraois, Soapia, Animations, Imhosankh, Grand Exultia, La Isla Nueva, Liberatarianism, Central Snowia, Triumphiam, Miedania, Karatol-Advenra, Arleat, Warrussia, Yukkira, Fiji and Polynesia, Republiae, Terianya, Eidelund, Yashire, Iduki, Esterel, Sovendland, Forvistan, Some random ass nation, Lagentium, NotEthiopia, Mawona, Valemont, Gemeinschaftsland, Trulu, X3-U, Venenistria, Custosia, Jafrad, The One True Ethiopia, Arabia and Pakistan, NewImperia, Jaxjagnation, Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich, Debluu, Virsalls, Montanpique, Decrosca, North Livitaviantan, Loreintor, BOOMER SOONER, Langburn, Yossito II, New Westmore, Konyai, Mobian Islands, Northern frankia, Zoranya, Merlovich, and The City of Philadelphia.

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