The Empire of Valcouria is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Emperor Constantine I with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, public floggings, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 16.332 billion Valcourians, 15.539 billion of whom are zombies, are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bainbridge. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Valcourian economy, worth an astonishing 13,232 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 425,705 Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.7 times as much as the poorest.

People who have had childhood imaginary friends are told they can't ever be trusted with guns, the nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny, buses are widely regarded as the safest way to travel, and church and state are inseparable in their influence on education. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valcouria's national animal is the White-tailed Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Valcouria is ranked 313,316^th in the world and 82^nd in Anteria for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -21.21 on the Clooney Contribution Index.