by Max Barry

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Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 141stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 149thMost Devout: 164th
The Empire of
Father Knows Best State
With God, for Emperor and Fatherland
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population21.587 billion

LeaderEmperor Constantine I
FaithRoman Catholicism

AnimalWhite-tailed Eagle

The Empire of Valcouria is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Constantine I with an iron fist, and remarkable for its national health service, daily referendums, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 21.587 billion Valcourians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bainbridge. The average income tax rate is 34.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Valcourian economy, worth a remarkable 8,743 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 405,037 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The "swords to plowshares" policy has created a generation of farmers that can kill a yak from 200 yards away, vaccinations are mandatory, the latest political memes depict Emperor Constantine I as an overly-choreographed robot, and the Valcourian Arts Council pays teenagers to sit through opera performances. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valcouria's national animal is the White-tailed Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Valcouria is ranked 47,282nd in the world and 73rd in Anteria for Most Patriotic, with 20.37 flags saluted per person per day.

Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 141stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 149thMost Devout: 164thLargest Agricultural Sector: 215thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 239thSafest: 253rdLowest Crime Rates: 269thMost Cultured: 398thLargest Publishing Industry: 441stMost Efficient Economies: 511thMost Cheerful Citizens: 526thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 538thMost Developed: 558thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 599thLongest Average Lifespans: 613thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 649thHealthiest Citizens: 665thHighest Economic Output: 823rdHighest Poor Incomes: 826thHighest Disposable Incomes: 880thHighest Average Incomes: 897thSmartest Citizens: 936thLargest Insurance Industry: 963rdLargest Governments: 1,286thLargest Retail Industry: 1,746thMost Influential: 1,920thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,280thTop
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 2,929thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,003rdHighest Food Quality: 4,065thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5,007thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,021stMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,227thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,349thBest Weather: 5,753rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6,828thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,303rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,333rdLargest Populations: 7,892ndNicest Citizens: 8,816thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 9,093rdLargest Mining Sector: 11,736thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,569thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 13,391stTop
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 14,499thMost Stationary: 19,613thLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,902ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 22,110thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 25,526th
Largest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Governments: 3rd in the regionTop
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 5th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 6th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 6th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 7th in the regionBest Weather: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 7th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9th in the regionMost Influential: 9th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 12th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 14th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14th in the regionMost Stationary: 16th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 17th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 19th in the regionTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 20th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 26th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 29th in the regionNicest Citizens: 32nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Valcouria, the Valcourian Arts Council pays teenagers to sit through opera performances.
  • : Following new legislation in Valcouria, the latest political memes depict Emperor Constantine I as an overly-choreographed robot.
  • : Valcouria voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Crime Victims' Rights Act".
  • : Following new legislation in Valcouria, vaccinations are mandatory.
  • : Following new legislation in Valcouria, the "swords to plowshares" policy has created a generation of farmers that can kill a yak from 200 yards away.
  • : Valcouria was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry.
  • : Valcouria was endorsed by The Federal Republic of Kakland.
  • : Valcouria lodged a message on the Anteria Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Valcouria, employers are never quite sure if graduates' qualifications have any merit or meaning.
  • : Following new legislation in Valcouria, the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments.