The Empire of Valcouria is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Constantine I with an iron fist, and notable for its national health service, zero percent divorce rate, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 30.834 billion Valcourians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bainbridge. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Valcourian economy, worth an astonishing 13,080 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 424,223 Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.0 times as much as the poorest.

Signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars, fur coats have become the latest fashion trend, heretic deviants are free to practice their deviance outside of Valcouria, and the arms industry is strictly regulated. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valcouria's national animal is the White-tailed Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Valcouria is ranked 355^th in the world and 1^st in Anteria for Most Cultured, scoring 576 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.