The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with a fair hand, and remarkable for its national health service, state-planned economy, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 34.32 billion Paffniacs love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 7,644 trillion paffnars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 222,752 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Museums offer moralization or your money back, cops in Skoptopolis spend much of their time napping on a park bench next to Embassy Row, physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, and a little love goes a long way claim Paffniac news. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 310,961^st in the world and 399^th in 10000 Islands for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -48.18 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.