The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with a fair hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, anti-smoking policies, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 34.436 billion Paffniacs love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 7,691 trillion paffnars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 223,352 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People with dyslexia are told to tough through it, sales of pregnancy testing kits are booming, back-alley holistic doctors carry crystals in long trench coats, and a passport is literally priceless. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 616^th in the world and 12^th in 10000 Islands for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 160.34 on the Kitten Softness Rating.