The Mazdayasna Commonwealth of Zebastani is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by PM Joseph Hadmirak with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, free-roaming dinosaurs, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.366 billion Zebastanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pyro. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 37.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Zebastanian economy, worth 849 trillion Zelts a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 194,570 Zelts, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Doctors accused of having no heart reply that cardiology isn't their speciality, jury selection begins with explaining what a jury is, prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present, and citizens applying for their first jobs face fierce competition from the homeless. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zebastani's national animal is the giraffe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Zoroastrianism.

Zebastani is ranked 261,241^st in the world and 478^th in 10000 Islands for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -6.75 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.