by Max Barry

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Paffnia was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 276
Largest Welfare Programs: 107thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 124thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 150th
The Protectorate of
Left-wing Utopia
Iuvans illos qui auxilium requirunt
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Nuke Control Cards


Population28.822 billion

LeaderAleksandar Vekili


The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 28.822 billion Paffniacs are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The all-consuming Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 6,303 trillion paffnars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 218,695 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Arguments about toilet seats being left up or down get surprisingly heated, citizens are strongly encouraged to breathe less so as to limit the carbon footprint, light entertainment shows are light on actual entertainment, and government expenses are beyond compare. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 301,593rd in the world and 377th in A Taco Paradise for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -48.32 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Largest Welfare Programs: 107thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 124thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 150thMost Advanced Public Transport: 244thMost Valuable International Artwork: 328thMost Advanced Public Education: 467thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 548thMost Pacifist: 584thHighest Average Tax Rates: 603rdMost Rebellious Youth: 686thBest Weather: 688thMost Beautiful Environments: 727thLongest Average Lifespans: 731stHealthiest Citizens: 841stNicest Citizens: 853rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 857thSafest: 872ndLargest Governments: 897thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 980thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,015thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,044thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,125thHighest Food Quality: 1,175thMost Inclusive: 1,225thLowest Crime Rates: 1,287thMost Influential: 1,315thSmartest Citizens: 1,400thLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,496thMost Cultured: 1,873rdHighest Economic Output: 2,162ndHighest Poor Incomes: 2,620thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 3,371stLargest Populations: 4,959thMost Developed: 6,911thHighest Average Incomes: 7,740thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 9,258thMost Subsidized Industry: 11,433rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 12,694thTop
Most Income Equality: 15,877thMost Scientifically Advanced: 23,568thMost Devout: 24,763rd
Largest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionHighest Food Quality: 2nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionSafest: 2nd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 2nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Inclusive: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionBest Weather: 2nd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Cultured: 2nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Populations: 3rd in the regionTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5th in the regionMost Developed: 6th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 11th in the regionMost Devout: 11th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 14th in the regionTop
Most Income Equality: 20th in the regionNudest: 27th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 30th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 5 » Parsend, Penguindon, Solsevara, Squim, and Mark.