The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, complete lack of prisons, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 21.103 billion Paffniacs enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The powerhouse Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 4,252 trillion paffnars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 201,500 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Builders across Paffnia are blocked up with orders for new public loos, the government burgles the houses of holidaying citizens, extreme political groups are outlawed, and the government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 850^th in the world and 16^th in 10000 Islands for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 78.41 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.