The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and soft-spoken computers. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 25.013 billion Paffniacs are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The all-consuming Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 5,434 trillion paffnars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 217,271 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Doctors who mutter "Oh my God" often lose their medical license, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate, and national park visitors are reporting a rash of poison ivy sightings. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 271,414^th in the world and 1,661^st in 10000 Islands for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring -22.35 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.