The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with an even hand, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, national health service, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 22.985 billion Paffniacs enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The powerhouse Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 4,732 trillion paffnars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 205,879 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The meaning of life was recently discovered in the patch notes for Version 1.42, clowns are being rounded up and admitted to mental institutions, at least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to Aleksandar Vekili's wardrobe, and fake designer clothes are shredded and burnt while many in the world don't have a shirt on their back. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 230,496^th in the world and 1,033^rd in 10000 Islands for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring -14.49 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.