The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with a fair hand, and remarkable for its ban on automobiles, sprawling nuclear power plants, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 18.447 billion Paffniacs love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The very strong Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 3,266 trillion paffnars a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 177,096 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Paffniac officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them, the nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances, Paffniacs incessantly needle their doctors for relief, and edutainment video games are taking Paffnia's students to the next level. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 913^th in the world and 17^th in 10000 Islands for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 77.31 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.