The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with a fair hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, sprawling nuclear power plants, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 14.421 billion Paffniacs are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 2,742 trillion paffnars a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 190,199 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The carbon tax fund gladly supplies warm blankets when the poor can't pay their heating bills, pigeon fanciers are depressed since all their charges have gone off the twig... they've kicked the bucket... they've shuffled off their mortal coils run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible... they are EX-PIGEONS, tabloids coo over Aleksandar Vekili's expected child, and the consent form for routine blood pressure measurement has been nominated for the 'Novel Of The Year' award. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 150,294^th in the world and 1,235^th in 10000 Islands for Fattest Citizens, with 2.58 Obesity Rate.