The Nomadic Legion of Cruciland is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Keysar David Aryelev with an iron fist, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, digital currency, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 27.774 billion Crucilandians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kokhavkiryah. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Crucilandian economy, worth an astonishing 28,986 trillion Niqudas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,043,668 Niqudas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Maxtopians are both starving and giddy after the Crucilandian military unleashed its biological weapons, nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers, suburban backyards are seized by the government and turned into national parks, and people boast about their low income on their dating profiles. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Cruciland's national animal is the sabertoothed cheetah, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Historical Christianity.

Cruciland is ranked 308,195^th in the world and 233^rd in Fifth Empire for Fattest Citizens, with 0.83 Obesity Rate.