The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Magic Conch with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, aversion to nipples, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 18.21 billion Patrick are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 97.3%.

The all-consuming Patrick economy, worth a remarkable 4,759 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 261,361 Patricks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Retirement apartments house giggling grannies who delightedly watch blank TVs all day long, it is still not known if the commander in chief outranks the supreme commander, shipping canals are a bit like unimaginative cheese shops -- filled with debris, and news editors who eschew the state-approved superlatives for describing The Magic Conch tend to disappear. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.

PatrickStar is ranked 287,874^th in the world and 94^th in Texas for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 7,056.76 Standard Monetary Units.