|Leader||The Magic Conch|
The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Magic Conch with an iron fist, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, ubiquitous missile silos, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.236 billion Patrick are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."
The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 96.5%.
The powerhouse Patrick economy, worth a remarkable 3,320 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 250,834 Patricks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.
Birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, pedants defending The Magic Conch observe that psychopaths and sociopaths aren't exactly the same thing, citizens wouldn't recognise The Magic Conch if they passed one another on the street, and the nation's spies are always on break time. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, the nation's spies are always on break time.
- : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, citizens wouldn't recognise The Magic Conch if they passed one another on the street.
- : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, pedants defending The Magic Conch observe that psychopaths and sociopaths aren't exactly the same thing.
- : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire.
- : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, shock troops shock enemy forces with their nudity.
- : PatrickStar's influence in Texas rose from "Newcomer" to "Apprentice".
- : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Populations.
- : PatrickStar relocated from Balder to Texas.
- : PatrickStar altered its national flag.
- : PatrickStar was refounded in Balder.