by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 128thMost Devout: 303rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 346th
The Holy Pink Morons of
Iron Fist Consumerists
All Hail The Magic Conch
The Magic Conch
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population11.298 billion

CapitalShell City
LeaderThe Magic Conch


The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by The Magic Conch with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, avant-garde cinema, and compulsory vegetarianism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.298 billion Patrick are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 96.3%.

The powerhouse Patrick economy, worth a remarkable 2,804 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 248,232 Patricks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Tourists visiting the nation are warned not to drink local tap water, the teaching of evolution has been banned, blind dates tend to result in bruised shins, and it is written that The Magic Conch removed one finger and reattached it to the amazement of all. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.

PatrickStar is ranked 231,269th in the world and 180th in Texas for Most Inclusive, scoring 4.52 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 128thMost Devout: 303rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 346thLargest Black Market: 665thMost Corrupt Governments: 844thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 918thMost Primitive: 1,078thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,480thLargest Mining Sector: 1,540thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,709thMost Patriotic: 2,095thTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,511thMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,619thMost Avoided: 3,154thHighest Average Incomes: 3,638thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,742ndLowest Crime Rates: 3,773rdHighest Poor Incomes: 4,202ndLargest Governments: 4,480thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,672ndHighest Economic Output: 5,487thMost Influential: 7,347thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,982ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,466thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 9,510thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,764thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 11,614thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,675thMost Advanced Public Education: 16,638thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 17,850thMost Conservative: 18,701stMost Authoritarian: 19,746th
Most Primitive: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Patriotic: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionLargest Black Market: 4th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 5th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 7th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 7th in the regionMost Conservative: 8th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 8th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 9th in the regionTop
Largest Governments: 10th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 11th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 11th in the regionMost Avoided: 12th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 13th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 16th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 18th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Patriotic.
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most World Assembly Endorsements.
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most World Assembly Endorsements.
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Freedom of dress".
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Regulation on the Integrity of Genetic Data".
  • : PatrickStar's influence in Texas rose from "Squire" to "Apprentice".
  • : PatrickStar's influence in Texas fell from "Apprentice" to "Squire".
  • : PatrickStar's influence in Texas rose from "Squire" to "Apprentice".
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Freedom Of Association".
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Law Enforcement.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 3 » NewTexas, Tishanda, and Indian Empire.

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