by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 163rd Most Devout: 339th Most Ignorant Citizens: 358th
The Holy Pink Morons of
Iron Fist Consumerists
All Hail The Magic Conch
The Magic Conch
Influence
Squire
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Strong
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

PatrickStar

Population6.581 billion

CapitalShell City
LeaderThe Magic Conch
FaithConchism

CurrencyPatrick
AnimalPatrick

The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by The Magic Conch with an iron fist, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, frequent executions, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.581 billion Patrick are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Spirituality and Law & Order are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 95.0%.

The strong Patrick economy, worth a remarkable 1,302 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 197,933 Patricks, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

Weapons are only sold to foreign governments that are legitimate enough to not bounce the cheque, employers may fire workers without giving any reason, the government is suspected of mass disappearing dissidents both at home and abroad, and rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.

PatrickStar is ranked 175,146th in the world and 183rd in Texas for Smartest Citizens, with 0.3 Quips Per Hour.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 163rdMost Devout: 339thMost Ignorant Citizens: 358thLargest Black Market: 598thMost Corrupt Governments: 845thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 867thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,335thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,398thLargest Mining Sector: 1,552ndMost Primitive: 1,699thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,712thTop
5%
Most Avoided: 2,814thLowest Crime Rates: 3,883rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,364thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,397thMost Conservative: 4,597thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,830thMost Authoritarian: 5,368thLargest Governments: 5,444thHighest Average Incomes: 5,881stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,669thMost Influential: 8,251stTop
10%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8,913thHighest Economic Output: 10,152ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 11,373rdMost Subsidized Industry: 11,703rdMost Extreme: 11,952ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 17,439th
Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Conservative: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 5th in the regionMost Primitive: 5th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 5th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 8th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 8th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 8th in the regionMost Extreme: 8th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 8th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 9th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9th in the regionTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 10th in the regionMost Avoided: 12th in the regionLargest Governments: 13th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 15th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Advanced Public Transport.
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Influential.
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry.
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry.
  • : PatrickStar was endorsed by The Lone Star Republic of Greater United Texas.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons.
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "defending the rights of sexual and gender minorities".
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, the government is suspected of mass disappearing dissidents both at home and abroad.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, employers may fire workers without giving any reason.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, weapons are only sold to foreign governments that are legitimate enough to not bounce the cheque.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 3 » NewTexas, Tishanda, and Greater United Texas.

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