by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 150th Most Devout: 321st Most Ignorant Citizens: 350th
The Holy Pink Morons of
Iron Fist Consumerists
All Hail The Magic Conch
The Magic Conch
Influence
Squire
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Strong
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

PatrickStar

Population6.207 billion

CapitalShell City
LeaderThe Magic Conch
FaithConchism

CurrencyPatrick
AnimalPatrick

The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by The Magic Conch with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, strictly enforced bedtime, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.207 billion Patrick are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Spirituality and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 95.0%.

The strong Patrick economy, worth a remarkable 1,233 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 198,723 Patricks, with the richest citizens earning 6.9 times as much as the poorest.

Weapons are only sold to foreign governments that are legitimate enough to not bounce the cheque, employers may fire workers without giving any reason, the government is suspected of mass disappearing dissidents both at home and abroad, and rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.

PatrickStar is ranked 4,924th in the world and 8th in Texas for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 94.95 Effective Tax Rate.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 150thMost Devout: 321stMost Ignorant Citizens: 350thLargest Black Market: 622ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 801stMost Corrupt Governments: 810thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,338thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,405thLargest Mining Sector: 1,529thMost Primitive: 1,588thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,596thTop
5%
Most Avoided: 2,859thLowest Crime Rates: 3,856thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,293rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,338thMost Conservative: 4,457thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,924thLargest Governments: 5,459thMost Authoritarian: 5,494thHighest Average Incomes: 5,687thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,413thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8,497thTop
10%
Most Influential: 8,779thHighest Economic Output: 10,466thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 11,194thMost Subsidized Industry: 11,287thMost Extreme: 12,230th
Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Primitive: 3rd in the regionMost Conservative: 3rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 4th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Black Market: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 7th in the regionMost Extreme: 7th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 8th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 8th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9th in the regionTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 10th in the regionMost Avoided: 12th in the regionLargest Governments: 13th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 16th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : PatrickStar was endorsed by The Lone Star Republic of Greater United Texas.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons.
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "defending the rights of sexual and gender minorities".
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, the government is suspected of mass disappearing dissidents both at home and abroad.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, employers may fire workers without giving any reason.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, weapons are only sold to foreign governments that are legitimate enough to not bounce the cheque.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol.
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Right to self-defense".
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, truancy officers have a hard time catching children trained in advanced camouflage skills.
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 3 » NewTexas, Tishanda, and Greater United Texas.

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