by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 128thMost Devout: 309thMost Ignorant Citizens: 320th
The Holy Pink Morons of
Iron Fist Consumerists
All Hail The Magic Conch
The Magic Conch
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population9.891 billion

CapitalShell City
LeaderThe Magic Conch


The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by The Magic Conch with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, public floggings, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.891 billion Patrick are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 96.0%.

The powerhouse Patrick economy, worth a remarkable 2,393 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 241,965 Patricks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The Magic Conch's power is effectively nullified as no bill becomes law without the upper house's support, Patrick caught jaywalking often have their houses seized by the police, elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment, and creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.

PatrickStar is ranked 228,899th in the world and 195th in Texas for Least Corrupt Governments, with 2.09 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 128thMost Devout: 309thMost Ignorant Citizens: 320thLargest Black Market: 664thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 789thMost Corrupt Governments: 831stMost Primitive: 1,153rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,320thLargest Mining Sector: 1,452ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,454thTop
Most Avoided: 2,532ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,669thLowest Crime Rates: 3,665thHighest Average Incomes: 3,723rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,892ndHighest Poor Incomes: 4,218thLargest Governments: 4,665thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,950thMost Valuable International Artwork: 5,750thHighest Economic Output: 6,105thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 7,671stMost Influential: 7,732ndMost Subsidized Industry: 8,314thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,062ndTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 12,048thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 12,054thMost Authoritarian: 13,363rdMost Conservative: 14,331stMost Advanced Public Education: 17,421stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 17,525th
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
Most Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Black Market: 4th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionMost Avoided: 7th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 7th in the regionMost Conservative: 8th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 9th in the regionTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 10th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 11th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 13th in the regionLargest Governments: 13th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 14th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 15th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 16th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 17th in the regionMost Extreme: 18th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Condemn The Land of Kings and Emperors".
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Ending School Segregation".
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Wealthy Incomes.
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Altino".
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Ensuring Effectual Recycling".
  • : PatrickStar voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Commend Evil Wolf"".
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "GMO International Trade Accord".
  • : PatrickStar voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Promotion of Recycling"".
  • : PatrickStar voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Nuremgard".
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Integrity in Law Enforcement".


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 3 » Studly Penguins, Tishanda, and NewTexas.

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