by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics

Most Ignorant Citizens: 580th Most Devout: 598th Most Corrupt Governments: 1,288th
The Holy Pink Morons of
Psychotic Dictatorship
All Hail The Magic Conch
Patrick
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Fair
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Patrick with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, prohibition of alcohol, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.818 billion Patrick are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Spirituality and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 93.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Patrick economy, worth 344 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 90,340 Patricks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Patrick Liberator", royalist is the most offensive slur in the Patrick language, cute fluffy little Patricks are increasingly popular exotic pets, and parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Conchism.

PatrickStar is ranked 179,079th in the world and 174th in Texas for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring -108.17 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 580thMost Devout: 598thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,288thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,314thTop
5%
Largest Black Market: 2,093rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,163rdMost Conservative: 2,607thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,800thMost Primitive: 2,889thLowest Crime Rates: 4,095thMost Authoritarian: 4,572ndMost Avoided: 4,780thLargest Mining Sector: 5,642ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5,739thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,163rdFattest Citizens: 6,239thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6,616thLargest Governments: 7,664thTop
10%
Most Extreme: 11,051stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 12,002ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13,468th
Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionMost Conservative: 4th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 5th in the regionLargest Black Market: 6th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 7th in the regionTop
10%
Most Extreme: 9th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 10th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 10th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 10th in the regionLargest Governments: 14th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : PatrickStar voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Safeguarding Nuclear Materials".
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, cute fluffy little Patricks are increasingly popular exotic pets.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, royalist is the most offensive slur in the Patrick language.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Patrick Liberator".
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, Maxtopian tourists make expensive pilgrimages to Shell City to enjoy their national art.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, the studies of art and philosophy are banned.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, it is universally agreed that the first 31 issues are the only ones with humor and charm (PatrickStar has found 3 easter eggs).
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, the government has declared victoria over the cheese menace.
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Condemn The Black Hawks"".

More...

View Forum posts

Report