by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 133rdMost Devout: 302ndMost Ignorant Citizens: 320th
The Holy Pink Morons of
Iron Fist Consumerists
All Hail The Magic Conch
The Magic Conch
Influence
Squire
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Powerhouse
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

PatrickStar

Population10.671 billion

CapitalShell City
LeaderThe Magic Conch
FaithConchism

CurrencyPatrick
AnimalPatrick

The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Magic Conch with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, fear of technology, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.671 billion Patrick are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 96.3%.

The powerhouse Patrick economy, worth a remarkable 2,667 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 249,959 Patricks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Tourists visiting the nation are warned not to drink local tap water, the teaching of evolution has been banned, blind dates tend to result in bruised shins, and it is written that The Magic Conch removed one finger and reattached it to the amazement of all. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.

PatrickStar is ranked 218,541st in the world and 167th in Texas for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -8.93 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 133rdMost Devout: 302ndMost Ignorant Citizens: 320thLargest Black Market: 649thMost Corrupt Governments: 809thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 833rdMost Primitive: 1,131stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,345thLargest Mining Sector: 1,404thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,552ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,672ndMost Avoided: 2,380thTop
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,448thHighest Average Incomes: 3,516thLowest Crime Rates: 3,691stHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,746thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,818thHighest Poor Incomes: 4,105thLargest Governments: 4,409thHighest Economic Output: 5,617thMost Conservative: 7,286thMost Influential: 7,522ndMost Subsidized Industry: 7,932ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 9,771stMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,989thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,511thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 10,584thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 12,172ndMost Authoritarian: 12,989thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 13,093rdMost Advanced Public Education: 16,858th
Top
1%
Most Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 3rd in the regionMost Conservative: 3rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 3rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 6th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionMost Avoided: 8th in the regionLargest Governments: 9th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Poor Incomes: 10th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 11th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 12th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 13th in the regionMost Extreme: 14th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 14th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 16th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 17th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, it is written that The Magic Conch removed one finger and reattached it to the amazement of all.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, blind dates tend to result in bruised shins.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, the teaching of evolution has been banned.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, tourists visiting the nation are warned not to drink local tap water.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, the nation is wading into dangerous waters.
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Protecting the Rights of Labour Unions".
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, failure to pay the thrice-daily homage to the divine The Magic Conch is punishable by death.
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Unexpected Death Rate.
  • : PatrickStar voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Roavin".

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 3 » NewTexas, Tishanda, and Indian Empire.

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