by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 123rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 282ndMost Devout: 296th
The Holy Pink Morons of
Psychotic Dictatorship
All Hail The Magic Conch
The Magic Conch
Influence
Squire
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Thriving
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

PatrickStar

Population8.99 billion

CapitalShell City
LeaderThe Magic Conch
FaithConchism

CurrencyPatrick
AnimalPatrick

The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by The Magic Conch with an iron fist, and renowned for its lack of airports, parental licensing program, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.99 billion Patrick are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The thriving Patrick economy, worth a remarkable 2,165 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 240,845 Patricks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Military training in PatrickStar emphasizes the tactical advantages of stabbing backs, asking about politics will earn a man a head pat and warnings that government is the woman's sphere, excessive gerrymandering has earned PatrickStar the nickname 'The Democratic Dictatorship', and the Patricks of PatrickStar are surprisingly well-adjusted. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.

PatrickStar is ranked 6,449th in the world and 38th in Texas for Highest Economic Output, with 2,165 trillion Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 123rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 282ndMost Devout: 296thLargest Black Market: 670thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 721stMost Corrupt Governments: 826thMost Primitive: 1,051stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,224thLargest Mining Sector: 1,233rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,436thMost Avoided: 2,202ndTop
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,683rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,300thHighest Average Incomes: 3,789thLowest Crime Rates: 3,876thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,115thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4,273rdLargest Governments: 4,791stMost Valuable International Artwork: 5,039thHighest Poor Incomes: 5,659thHighest Economic Output: 6,449thMost Conservative: 6,556thMost Influential: 7,670thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,146thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,181stMost Authoritarian: 11,627thTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 12,323rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,003rdMost Advanced Public Education: 20,251stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 22,753rd
Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 2nd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionLargest Black Market: 4th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 6th in the regionMost Avoided: 7th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8th in the regionMost Extreme: 8th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 9th in the regionTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 11th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 12th in the regionLargest Governments: 12th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 13th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 14th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 14th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 15th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Authoritarian.
  • : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Military Identification Tag Act".
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Authoritarian.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, the Patricks of PatrickStar are surprisingly well-adjusted.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, excessive gerrymandering has earned PatrickStar the nickname 'The Democratic Dictatorship'.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, asking about politics will earn a man a head pat and warnings that government is the woman's sphere.
  • : PatrickStar voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Ensuring Safe Syringe Use"".
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, military training in PatrickStar emphasizes the tactical advantages of stabbing backs.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, laws are littered with references to cheese.
  • : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Law Enforcement.

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