by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 648th Most Devout: 765th Most Advanced Defense Forces: 828th
The Lazy Rock-Dwellers of
Iron Fist Consumerists
All Hail The Magic Conch
Patrick
Influence
Sprat
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Reasonable
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Lazy Rock-Dwellers of PatrickStar is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Patrick with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, strictly enforced bedtime, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.498 billion Patrick are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Spirituality and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 88.0%.

The large but inefficient Patrick economy, worth 383 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 109,689 Patricks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Military spending is on the increase, weapons produced by newly nationalized armaments factories have been found to contain sawdust instead of gunpowder, protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations, and creative compliance measures ensure that high-ranking officials live in luxury while the country's coffers collect cobwebs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.

PatrickStar is ranked 42,730th in the world and 76th in Texas for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 191,766.34 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 648thMost Devout: 765thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 828thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,560thTop
5%
Largest Black Market: 1,859thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,364thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,515thMost Conservative: 3,123rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,165thLargest Mining Sector: 3,804thMost Avoided: 4,405thMost Authoritarian: 5,411thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,468thLowest Crime Rates: 6,583rdMost Primitive: 7,867thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 8,275thTop
10%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 9,308thLargest Governments: 10,454thMost Extreme: 13,805th
Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Devout: 3rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 3rd in the regionMost Conservative: 4th in the regionMost Primitive: 5th in the regionLargest Black Market: 7th in the regionTop
10%
Most Corrupt Governments: 8th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 11th in the regionMost Extreme: 12th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 12th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 13th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 13th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, creative compliance measures ensure that high-ranking officials live in luxury while the country's coffers collect cobwebs.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, weapons produced by newly nationalized armaments factories have been found to contain sawdust instead of gunpowder.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, military spending is on the increase.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, prisons are filled with the cackles and sobs of a deranged inmate population.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, religious bigotry and a fear of outsiders have replaced religious studies in schools.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, motorists' locations are constantly tracked by intelligence and law enforcement agencies.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, it is often said that only Patrick could bring down Dàguó.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, the government is hungry to spread communism beyond the nation's borders.
  • : Following new legislation in PatrickStar, creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 4 » NewTexas, South Aztlan, Lewisville Texas, and Indian Empire.

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