Most Secular: 64th Most Scientifically Advanced: 339th Largest Information Technology Sector: 355th
The Gigantic Frozen Igloo of
Left-wing Utopia
Ninety-five percent certain we're still doomed
Hiram Fox
Regional Influence
Lieutenant Governor
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

Overview Dispatches People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Gigantic Frozen Igloo of Studly Penguins is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Hiram Fox with a fair hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, sprawling nuclear power plants, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 15.146 billion Studly Penguinians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The tiny, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Healthcare, and Public Transport are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fort McGuire. The average income tax rate is 2.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Studly Penguinian economy, worth a remarkable 2,750 trillion Kroner a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 181,579 Kroner, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Being impolite in public is punishable by heavy fines, the death penalty has been reintroduced, the Super-Hyped Up Penguin is believed to be extinct, and students cut up leftover Kroner during Arts and Crafts. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Studly Penguins's national animal is the Super-Hyped Up Penguin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Studly Penguins is ranked 9,182nd in the world and 34th in Texas for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 152.6 on the Bus Surprisal Index.

Most Secular: 64thMost Scientifically Advanced: 339thLargest Information Technology Sector: 355thMost Rebellious Youth: 366thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 369thMost Influential: 552ndLeast Corrupt Governments: 578thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 699thHighest Crime Rates: 767thHealthiest Citizens: 773rdMost Armed: 775thRudest Citizens: 857thSmartest Citizens: 901stMost Inclusive: 1,137thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,291stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,332ndMost Efficient Economies: 1,365thMost Cultured: 1,584thMost Avoided: 1,606thTop
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 1,904thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,202ndLargest Black Market: 2,512thHighest Economic Output: 2,596thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,943rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3,109thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,122ndLargest Populations: 5,972ndHighest Average Incomes: 6,059thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 7,618thTop
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 9,182ndMost Politically Free: 11,422ndMost Income Equality: 12,064thMost Developed: 12,692ndNudest: 13,763rd
Most Secular: 1st in the regionTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 3rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 3rd in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 4th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 4th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 5th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Income Equality: 6th in the regionLargest Black Market: 6th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionMost Inclusive: 7th in the regionTop
Most Cultured: 8th in the regionMost Avoided: 8th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionMost Armed: 9th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 9th in the regionRudest Citizens: 11th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 13th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 13th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 14th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 15th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Studly Penguins, students cut up leftover Kroner during Arts and Crafts.
  • : Following new legislation in Studly Penguins, the Super-Hyped Up Penguin is believed to be extinct.
  • : Following new legislation in Studly Penguins, the death penalty has been reintroduced.
  • : Following new legislation in Studly Penguins, being impolite in public is punishable by heavy fines.
  • : Studly Penguins was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes and the Top 10% for Most Income Equality.
  • : Following new legislation in Studly Penguins, burglary is widely regarded as the national sport.
  • : Studly Penguins lodged a message on the Texas Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Studly Penguins, the government is constantly producing new maps to accommodate the continual renaming of cities.
  • : Following new legislation in Studly Penguins, only AI know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile.
  • : Studly Penguins was reclassified from "Civil Rights Lovefest" to "Left-wing Utopia".


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by Max Barry

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