The Shell-Worshipping Geniuses of PatrickStar is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by The Magic Conch with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, avant-garde cinema, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.41 billion Club Members are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Club Member economy, worth a remarkable 5,820 trillion Conch Shells a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 259,741 Conch Shells, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

It's scientifically provable that Club Member guys don't know how to make a woman happy, the police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers, survivors receive aid from only the most environmentally-friendly transport, and the government conducts negotiations with drawings after firing multilinguals for treason. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Magic Conch, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.

PatrickStar is ranked 4,768^th in the world and 42^nd in The Leftist Assembly for Highest Poor Incomes, with 168,853.34 Standard Monetary Units.