by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 827thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,763rdMost Secular: 1,837th
The Free Democratic State of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Protect thy ears
Imperator Joe Average XIII
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Ear Exploder 9000

Population1.798 billion

CapitalCacophonia
LeaderImperator Joe Average XIII
FaithJoeism

CurrencyDecibel
AnimalJoeaveragian Pike

The Free Democratic State of Ear Exploder 9000 is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Imperator Joe Average XIII with an iron fist, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 1.798 billion Earexplodians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Industry, Administration, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cacophonia. The average income tax rate is 75.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Earexplodian economy, worth 310 trillion Decibels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 172,739 Decibels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, organisations with 800 in their phone number are often raided by special forces, terrified tympanists are finding themselves on the front lines armed only with kettledrums, and military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ear Exploder 9000's national animal is the Joeaveragian Pike, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Joeism.

Ear Exploder 9000 is ranked 37,594th in the world and 533rd in 10000 Islands for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 4,435.49 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.

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1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 827thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,763rdMost Secular: 1,837thMost Patriotic: 1,885thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,327thTop
5%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 3,573rdMost Influential: 3,857thMost Avoided: 4,360thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,173rdMost Corrupt Governments: 6,180thLargest Mining Sector: 6,445thLargest Black Market: 6,733rdMost Subsidized Industry: 7,228thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,210thHighest Poor Incomes: 9,118thHighest Average Incomes: 10,783rdTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 14,463rdMost Armed: 14,478thMost Efficient Economies: 14,631stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 15,775thMost Conservative: 18,078thMost Authoritarian: 18,167thMost Developed: 18,487thLargest Governments: 19,013thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,030thHighest Average Tax Rates: 20,856thLongest Average Lifespans: 22,574th
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1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 5th in the regionTop
5%
Most Patriotic: 18th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 31st in the regionMost Secular: 44th in the regionMost Avoided: 56th in the regionLargest Black Market: 58th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 63rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 69th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 70th in the regionTop
10%
Most Conservative: 87th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 90th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 92nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 104th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 126th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 143rd in the regionMost Armed: 147th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 156th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 158th in the region

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