The United Socialist States of Bloni is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Prosci Lumi with an iron fist, and renowned for its vat-grown people, national health service, and labour-free parental leave. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.732 billion Blonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hamache. The average income tax rate is 93.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Blonian economy, worth 321 trillion Balonis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 117,605 Balonis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Military equipment stores have a tendency to go up in flames, Big Brother is still watching even when your big brother is dead, one does not simply walk into the tundra, and the national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bloni's national animal is the Turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Bloni is ranked 300,914^th in the world and 550^th in Starlight for Fattest Citizens, with 4.38 Obesity Rate.